


After Hours

by Alexa_Rune



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Original Characters - Freeform, OtaYuri undertone, Recovery, Yuri's mom, well there was supposed to be, yeah ok it's kinda sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-18 18:43:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13106256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexa_Rune/pseuds/Alexa_Rune
Summary: " 'I can’t stay here,' Yuri sobbed. He used his forearms to pull himself toward the boards. “Come on,” he said through chattering teeth. He couldn’t move fast enough. “Come on!” He hadn’t even reached the edge of the stoplight before his arms gave out. His head was  fuzzy and his vision was flickering. He fell flat against the ice, grateful that the cold at least  helped numb the pain in his head. “I’m an idiot. I’m such an idiot.” His leg was throbbing.I might have just ended my career.





	1. Chapter 1

The rink closed at nine. Yakov left at nine-thirty and the custodial staff was done by ten. Practice was over when the doors were closed and locked; However, as the professional team had long ago learned, if there’s a will there’s a way and Yuri knew where Yakov kept his spare key. After hour practice was like the figure skating black market. It was a system that required precision and secrecy. It took more than making sure people kept their mouths shut. A few years into Victor’s junior days and the security camera that watched the ice became notorious for “malfunctioning” for a few hours in the middle of the night. Years later and Yuri was using the same shortcuts and back doors to sneak into the sleeping building. He didn’t turn on the overhead lights and instead settled for the dim spotlight that hit the middle of the ice. Slipping his skates on his feet he took to the ice. 

It was different at night. The familiar building transformed into something new and exciting. The sound of skate cutting ice echoed so clearly through the air it became its own kind of music. Yuri’s day practice had been fine but he was a defending champion now, anything less than excellent wouldn’t cut it. He skated through the routine with the adrenaline from trespassing egging him on. And maybe it was because it was dark, or because he was tired, or because he just wasn’t paying close enough attention, his toepick caught on an attempted quad, there was an audible pop in his knee and he was sent flying, not into the air, but head first into the ice. 

It happened too quickly for Yuri to tuck his head, too quickly for him to use any of the procedures for falling safely. The impact knocked the wind out of him and the sound his head made when it hit the ice echoed through the dark building for what seemed like an eternity. Yuri cried out his head was pulsing. “Shit,” he ground out through clenched teeth. He was laying on his stomach with his arms out in front of him and his forehead resting on the ice. He tried to pull his head off the ice but even the small movement caused his eyes to tear up. 

_ This is bad.  _

He again tried again to get up but only managed to flop onto his back with a strangled sob. 

_ Very bad.  _

The left side of his forehead, the contact point, was numb. A fact he was grateful for. While he couldn’t yet feel the sharp pain of the laceration he _ could _ feel the blood seeping out of the slit skin and down his face. Yuri tried once more and found that he couldn’t sit up let alone get himself off the ice. Panic appeared out of the shadows like a wolf and sunk its teeth in Yuri’s core. 

_ There’s no one here. No one. What am I going to do? _

He tried to keep his breathing steady. He groaned as the amount of pain coursing through him amplified. 

_ My phone. I have to call for help.  _

Yakov would be pissed when he found out about the  breaking in but he’d bust an aneurysm if Yuri bled out before competition season and on his ice no less. Yuri’s body began to shiver violently and he knew he had to move. He rolled back onto his stomach and fought down the reflex to vomit.  The ice below him was already coated in crimson. He pulled one leg under him. “Okay…” He took a trembling breath and attempted to move his left leg. His knee was stiff but it wasn’t hurting. He bent it- or tried to he felt the same popping as before but this time it was accompanied with the sensation of bones snapping. He screamed. No one heard him. No one. “I can’t stay here,” Yuri sobbed. He used his forearms to pull himself toward the boards. “Come on,” he said through chattering teeth. He couldn’t move fast enough. “Come on!” He hadn’t even reached the edge of the stoplight before his arms gave out. His head was  fuzzy and his vision was flickering. He fell flat against the ice, grateful that the cold at least  helped numb the pain in his head. “I’m an idiot. I’m such an idiot.” His leg was throbbing. 

_ I might have just ended my career  _

He closed his eyes against the brightness of the light on him. “The rink opens at six Yakov will be here by five. I can make it till five. I’ll be ok,” Yuri whispered. He knew vaguely that he shouldn’t fall asleep but it was late and he was cold and the prospect of sleep was just too tempting. 

///

Victor and Yuuri approached the front door to the rink at four-thirty in the morning. Victor reached into his pocket and produced a key- perk of being a part time coach. Mila jumped out of her car to meet them.

“You have a key? Great! Now I don’t have to go in through the locker room window.” Victor chuckled and Yuuri stared at her like she was crazy. 

“The window?” He asked. 

“Only place they don’t have cameras,” Mila replied. 

“You realize Yakov will be here in about forty-five minutes right?” Victor asked as he pushed open the door. 

“That’s forty-five minutes of ice time wasted.” Mila adjusted her bag and walked in behind them. Victor went over to turn on the lights and Yuuri sat down to pull on his skates. Mila walked over to him, having stopped in the locker room first. “Why are you two here so early anyway?” She asked propping her foot up on the bench next to Yuuri to remove her boot. 

“It’s easier when there are less people watching,” Yuuri said quietly. He glanced up at the ice and froze. Is  that…?  Yuuri’s heart started thumping. He was afraid to look closer. The lights roared to life illuminating the entire building. Mila screamed. Victor ran around the corner with a million questions on his lips. By the time he took in the scene Mila had already jumped the boards, sprinting onto the ice with one shoe on. 

“Yuri. Yura,” She said, sliding onto her knees. It looked like a horror movie. The ice was smeared with dried blood and the teenager in front of her was out cold. “Oh my God,” She put a shaking hand to her mouth. Victor appeared next to her. “Is he… oh, my God. Yura.” Victor put two fingers under Yuri’s jaw. 

“He’s ok. Mila call 112.” Mila stared at Yuri’s  unresponsive body. “Mila!” She looked up at him helplessly. 

“I’ve got it,” Yuuri said from the sidelines, pulling out his phone. Yuri groaned and all their eyes were on him. 

“Yurio can you hear me?” Victor leaned down close to catch a response.  He placed his hands on Yuri’s back and shoulder. “Yurio?” 

“It’s Yuri,” he ground out. Yuri’s eyes fluttered open against the bright light. Mila sat back with a breath of relief. 

“What happened to you?” Mila asked. Yuri pushed himself up onto his forearms. Victor steadied him as he rolled onto his back. Now that they could see just how bad Yuri’s head looked they both cringed. 

“I couldn’t get to my phone,” Yuri said. Victor took note of how his voice slurred. “I tried but I couldn’t-” He inhaled sharply through his teeth. 

“Okay,” Victor said. He brushed Yuri’s hair out of his face and examined the gash splitting his eyebrow. Yuri closed his eyes and a faint whine escaped his lips. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“No, my knee. I h-hurt my knee,” Yuri gasped. Victor moved down and even through Yuri’s leggings he could see the misalignment. “I can’t move it,” Yuri said. His foot twitched and Victor immediately locked a hand above and below his knee to stop the movement. 

“Don’t try and move.” Yuri huffed on a sob that escaped his throat. He raised both  hands to his face.

“My career is over isn’t it?” Tears fell down his cheeks. Mila scooted over and placed his head in her lap. 

“No, it’s not. But it could be if you keep moving,” Victor said. Mila whipped the tears off his face with her thumb. 

“It’s a dislocation Yuri, you’ll be just fine,” She said. He exhaled and closed his eyes. 

“You’re an idiot Yuri Plisetsky,” Mila said quietly. “Don’t you know better than to skate alone?” Yuri cleared his throat and mumbled something incoherent. “What?” Mila asked leaning forward. Yuri turned his head muttering  a bit louder, still nothing comprehensible in any language. 

“Yuri speak up,” Victor demanded. Yuri continued on  his ramblings with no indication that he understood.

“Victor the ambulance is here,” Yuuri called. Victor nodded and stood. 

“Keep him awake Mila.” She nodded and put both hands on Yuri’s face. 

“Keep talking, that’s it tiger.” 

Victor greeted the paramedics and led them across the ice. They carefully secured Yuri onto a board and lifted him up and off the ice. Mila and Yuuri bounced to his side. 

“Who’s riding with us?” One of the paramedics asked. 

“I am,” Victor said. “Mila can you wait for Yakov? He’ll have Yuri’s emergency contact information.” She nodded. Victor turned to Yuuri. “I’m sorry-” he began. Yuuri held up a hand. 

“I’ll take the car and meet you,” Yuuri said.  He took Victor’s hand. “It’s going to be ok.” Victor nodded and climbed into the back of the ambulance. It took off in the direction of the hospital with its sirens blaring. 

The paramedics hooked Yuri to a heart monitor and frantic beeping filled the cramped space. He was hooked to as many wires as possible,  an oxygen mask was strapped to his face, and an IV was jammed into his arm. Yuri was shivering so hard Victor worried he’d chip a tooth. His temperature was much too low- a side effect of being on the ice all night. They put warming blankets over him but still the teenager trembled. Victor held his hand and tried to keep him calm. 

“Shhh Yura, it’s ok.” Yuri gripped his hand tightly. They went over a bump and Yuri cried out. His leg was on fire. Every nerve in his body was screaming. He gasped for breath.

“Hurts.” 

“I know. It’s ok,” Victor ran his thumb over Yuri’s knuckles, “It’s not much longer and then they’re going to fix you up.”  The parametric increased pressure on Yuri’s cut which had reopened when they moved him off the ice. 

“I want my mom. Call my mom,” Yuri whined. Victor knit his eyebrows. 

“We will.” Yuri stared at the light above him. It moved and floated in front of him. He felt like he was underwater. His eyes began drifting closed. 

“Stay with us kid,” The paramedic sitting across from Victor said. “You hit your head pretty hard.” Yuri’s eyelids lifted slowly. His normally spirited eyes were dull. 

“I’m tired,” Yuri mumbled. 

“I know,” Victor said, “You can sleep soon I promise, just stay awake.” 

Yuri looked at him but his eyes didn’t focus on the man sitting next to him. 

“I’m never gonna skate again,” he slurred.  “I messed up. I-” Yuri’s eyelids fluttered closed. The monitor rang out loudly. 

“His blood pressure’s dropping, how far out are we?” The parametric demanded. 

“Pulling in now,” the driver replied. Victor’s chest was frozen over. 

When the doors opened Yuri was rushed inside. Victor followed after them as far as  he could before a nurse stopped him. 

“Sir we have to take him for an MRI and X-rays. Are you family?”

“No. Yes. I’m…” Victor trailed off not sure how to answer. 

“Victor?” He turned at the familiar voice. Yakov was striding down the hallway toward him. “What the hell happened?” He demanded. 

“I don’t know. We found him this morning on the ice. He wasn’t making much sense.” Yakov pinched the bridge of his nose. “He was asking for his mother…”

“How hard did he hit his head?” Yakov asked with a bitter scoff. Victor just raised a brow at him. “Yuri hasn’t spoken to his mother in years. He refuses to.” 

“But you called didn’t you?” Victor asked. 

“I’m legally obligated to. So far she hasn’t picked up.” Yakov accepted the admittance forms from the nurse. They sat in the waiting area so he could fill them out. “I signed to be an emergency guardian when Yuri moved here from Moscow… That was five years ago and I haven’t heard from the women since.” 

“I guess I always assumed she was a workaholic. I had no idea she was so… absent.” Victor shook his head and brushed the hair from his eyes. Yuuri walked in a half hour later and sat down next to Victor. 

“Sorry it took me so long. Mila was really upset and I didn’t want to leave her,” he said. 

“It’s okay.  We don’t know anything yet,” Victor replied. A while later a doctor appeared. They all stood.

“The MRI was clear of intracranial bleeding. He has a concussion and is still having trouble with clear speech and his memory isn’t complete. What we’re most concerned about is the knee dislocation,” he said. Yakov rubbed his temple. “An orthopedic surgeon will have to manually reset his knee and then we will take him up to an OR.” 

“Can we see him?” Victor asked. The doctor nodded. 

“He’s been asking for you actually. I do have to warn you along with the concussion he’s on pain medication so he won’t be himself.”

“When will his surgery be?” Yakov asked. “I have yet to reach his mother.” The doctor nodded. 

“We have time,” The doctor replied. He led them down the hall and into a procedure room. Yuri was resting in an upright position. The lights were dim but Yuri’s eyes were still squinted. He was staring at the far wall with a blank expression. He didn’t look over at them when they walked in.

“How are you feeling?” Yuuri asked. They sat in chairs at his bedside. 

“Did you call my mom?” He asked. His voice sounded tired and his words lagged a bit at the end. 

“I have… she didn’t answer. I’ll go call again,” Yakov said. He stepped outside the room. 

“My head hurts,” Yuri announced. 

“I’d think so,” Victor said with a small smile, “you fell hard and you’re sporting the stitches to prove it.” Yuri’s hand shot up to his forehead. He trailed his fingers over the gauze taped over his split skin. “Don’t touch, Yuri, don’t-” Victor pulled Yuri’s hand away gently. He looked over at them for the first time. 

“Victor?” His eyebrows were knit together. 

“Yes?”

“You cut your hair.” Yuuri and Victor made eye contact. 

“I did. Years ago,” Victor said. There was a moment of silence. 

“I knew that,” Yuri muttered. He rubbed his eyes. His  memories swirled in his head in no particular order. The steady aching made it hard- no, impossible- for him to sort through them. 

“You have a concussion,” Victor explained. “You’ll be able to think more clearly soon.” Yuri closed his eyes for a second and took some deep breaths. His stomach was swirling uncomfortably. His head was killing him- that we was aware of. He was also aware that his leg was not hurting. In fact he couldn’t feel it at all from the knee down. 

“Did they fix my knee?” He asked looking between the two older skaters. 

“Not yet…” Yuuri said. “It’s dislocated and you have to have surgery. Remember?” 

“They haven’t done the surgery?” Yuri asked. Victor and Yuuri shifted in their seats. 

“No, they haven’t. They still have to reset it. The doctor is going to come up soon to do that,” Victor said. Yuri stared at his lap. His breathing increased ever so slightly.

“I think,” he paused, “I think something’s wrong.” 

_ I should be in pain. I should feel it _

“What’s  wrong?” Victor asked. Yuri leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes. “Yurio?” Victor stood and brushed the blond hair away from his forehead. 

“Something’s wrong… I can’t feel it… something’s wrong,” Yuri rambled with his eyes still closed. Yuuri frowned and reached over to pull away the blanket. Yuri’s leg was purple. From the knee down the flesh was dark and cold. 

“Help! We need some help in here!” Victor yelled. He couldn’t wait and ran to the door to scan the hall. 

“Something’s wrong,” Yuri repeated. Yuuri moved up and placed a hand on his arm. 

“Don’t worry. They’re going to fix it you’ll be okay,” he said. Victor returned seconds later with a team of doctors and nurses. They took one look at Yuri’s leg and all hell broke loose. 

“Blood flow is compromised we have to realign his knee now.”

“Someone page  Ortho.” They brought a portable ultrasound and searched Yuri’s ankle for a pulse. The orthopedic surgeon ran in. She scanned the scene and immediately began yelling.  

“Why didn’t you page me sooner!” She pushed the person with the ultrasound out of the way and took over. Yuri was the only one in the room who seemed unbothered. He was lying still with his eyes half open. “I have to set his knee. Will someone  _ please  _ get the lights on!” She ripped the blanket off the bed and Yuri curled up best he could, blocking his eyes with his arm. 

“You need to leave,” one of the other doctors said. He tried to push Yuuri and Victor out of the room. Yuri began to squirm, unnerved by all the attention. Yuuri and Victor we’re almost out the door when the surgeon spoke up. 

“Let them stay. He’s going to need someone to hold his hand.” Victor walked over and took Yuri’s hand. “Yuri, sweetie, can you hear me? My name is Dr. Alcazar, I’m here to fix your leg.” 

“I fell on the ice,” Yuri muttered. 

“Yes, you did, and now the blood flow to your foot is being blocked by the dislocation. I have to realign your knee and I have to do it now.”

“Wait! Please, she’ll be here.” 

“I know you’re tired and in pain, but if this doesn’t happen  _ you will lose your leg _ .” She pulled on his leg to get it into position. 

Yuri tried to move but many hands held him in place. “Ow!” Yuri winced and rolled his head back and forth. She placed her hands on his knee.. 

“Yuri, this is going to hurt. Try to stay still.” She waited for Yuri to take a deep breath and then in one quick motion she jammed the bones back in place. There was a cracking sound but it was drowned out by Yuri’s scream. He gripped Victor’s hand so tightly you could practically hear Victor’s hand crunching. “I’m done. Ok? All done.” Dr. Alcaraz checked again for a pulse in his ankle. Yuri was shaking. He could definitely feel his knee now. He was crying and unable to be embarrassed about it. Yakov ran back into the room his phone was being held in a limp hand. Yuri’s eyes locked onto him. A moment of silence passed between them. 

“She’s not coming. Is she?” Yuri asked. Yakov looked at his student with sad eyes. 

“I’m sorry Yura,” he said. Yuri turned and buried his face in his pillow. He groaned as  Dr. Alcaraz probed his leg. 

“Dammit. It’s not pinking up like I’d like it to. We need to get him to an OR.”  Yuri’s eyes widened. “Move people!” The bed was being rolled quickly out of the room. Yuri hadn’t let go of Victor’s hand and he ran will them towards the elevator. Yuri was frantic. 

“Please don’t take my leg. I need my leg,” He gasped. Tears spilled down his cheeks. He locked eyes with Victor. “Don’t let them cut off my leg.” He took a shuddering breath. “I need my leg,” he whined. Victor’s chest ached. 

“Sir this is as far as you can go.” Victor eased his hand out of Yuri’s death grip. 

“It’s going to be okay Yura!” He called after them. “You’re going to be okay.” 

Victor watched the elevator doors close. He stood and felt helpless. He walked back toward Yuri’s room. Yakov and Yuuri were standing by the door. Yuuri was updating Yakov. Yakov looked older than he ever had. His phone was being held in a limp hand. 

“She didn’t answer?” Victor asked. Yakov turned to him him, his eyes were exhausted. He shook his head. 

“Oh no, she answered,” Yakov said. Victor clenched his fists and locked his eyes on the ground. Yuuri's eyes bounced between the two of them.

“I don’t understand…” 

“Neither do I,” Yakov said. He turned away from them and walked toward the waiting room. Because at that point waiting was all they could do. 

///

When Yuri came to he was greeted by a woman's face in a halo of light.

“ Mama?” Yuri whispered. He groaned and blinked a few times only to realize the face in front of him was an unfamiliar one. “What's...” His mouth felt like it was full of cotton. The face in front of him blurred. “Where...?”

“ Take it easy Mr. Plisetsky, you just got out of surgery.” Yuri tried to make his eyes focus but a concussion and anesthesia don't mix well.

“ Did they amp...utate?” Yuri asked, struggling through the sentence. The young doctor giggled at him under her breath.

“ No, Dr. Alcaraz was able to save your leg.” Yuri let out a sigh of relief. “She'll be in to talk to you and your friends once you've had a chance to wake up.” Yuri nodded and spent the next twenty minutes watching the doctor write on his chart and fuss with the machinery. He could hear Yakov, Victor, and Yuuri approaching before they walked into the room. Dr. Alcaraz was with them and she smiled when she saw Yuri was awake.

“ How are you feeling?” She asked. Yuri shrugged and rolled his eyes as Victor hopped onto the bed next to him.

“ So my leg's okay?” Yuri asked. Dr. Alcaraz's smile wavered ever so slightly.

“ Yuri... there was a lot more damage than we originally anticipated,” Dr. Alcaraz explained. “There was nerve damage around the joint from the prolonged dislocation and stress on your ligaments.”

“ How long before I can skate?” Yuri asked. His hands were gripping his thin blanket. Dr. Alcaraz faltered she looked at the ground for a moment to collect herself.

“ Yuri we did everything we could but there's a chance you'll never skate again.”

Everything froze.

“ I don't want that to discourage you from trying- we are affiliated with the best physical therapist in the country. I've already spoken to her about a program for you and she believes that in enough time...” Dr. Alcaraz trailed off when it became apparent Yuri wasn't listening. “Yuri?”

“ Get out.”

“ I realize this is the exact opposite of what you want to hear-”

“ I said get out!” Yuri's eyes narrowed and he bore his teeth. “Shut up and leave me alone!”

“ Yuri!” Yakov scolded.

“ No, it's okay,” Dr. Alcaraz said. She turned to face them. “He'll need a chance to process. I'll be back later to change his dressings.” She exited the room and the second she was gone Yuri felt the pressure build in his chest to the point where it was unbearable.

“ So that's it then,” he said. Yuri bit his lower lip so hard he could taste blood.

“ It's not impossible. Didn't you hear her? We'll get you the best doctors and you'll be back on the ice in no time,” Victor said with a naive enthusiasm. Yuri glared at him, his eyes were becoming glassy. Yuuri leaned over and placed a hand on Victor's upper back.

“ Uh, Victor? Why don't we go get some coffee and update Mila,” he said quietly. Victor nodded and together they left the room. Yakov waited for the door to swing closed behind them before he took a seat on the side of the bed. Yuri wouldn't meet his eye. The teenager was actively controlling his breathing doing his best to contain his emotions.

“ Yura-”

“ Don't,” Yuri said. A single tear slipped down his cheek and he quickly whipped it away. “I did this. It's my own fault.” He took a shuddering breath and cleared his throat. “I broke in. I skated alone without telling anyone where I'd be. I knew better.” Yakov's eyebrows knit together in a somber expression. Yuri blinked rapidly a few times. He looked up at his coach with red puffy eyes. “It's just that I was having trouble with the routine and I thought I could get it if I practiced more,” Yuri's speech picked up so much that by the end he was rambling without breath, “I was so close to making it perfect and now I'll never get a chance-” Yuri's shoulders shook as large sobs ripped through his throat.

“ Shhhh,” Yakov soothed. He pulled Yuri's head against his shoulder. Yuri's fists closed around the fabric of his coat, one which Yakov was rarely seen without. “You'll be okay. This isn't the end of the world, if the doctor says there's hope then believe there is.” He ran his hand over Yuri's hair. Yuri continued to cry. His heart was breaking and nothing anyone could say could ease his pain. “This isn't the end,” Yakov whispered, holding Yuri tight.

Eventually, Yuri passed out from a combination of pain medication and mental exhaustion. Yakov was grateful he was on an IV, without it the teen would have surely dehydrated. Yuuri and Victor returned shortly after.

“ Mila stopped by,” Yuuri said as they both sat down bedside. “She's been running lessons all day but she wanted to drop this off.” He placed Yuri's cell phone on the bedside table. Yakov nodded. In the state of emergency he'd completely forgotten about the lessons and practices he was supposed to run. He'd have to remember to thank Mila profusely for stepping in.

“ I'll have to call in someone to teach for a few days at least...” Yakov muttered.

“ I'm sure Mila doesn't mind bossing people around,” Victor said. Yakov scoffed.

“ While that may be I don't know how long I'll be needed here. I'd feel more at ease if one of the junior trainers was put in charge in light of my absence.”

“ Don't bother,” Yuri mumbled. He opened his eyes slowly and stared at the ceiling. “I don't need you here.” Yakov tried not to let the comment get to him.

“ Don't be ridiculous, I have no problem being here.” Yuri sighed and rolled over so his back was to them. His head was aching and the numbness in his knee was beginning to fade.

“ You're a coach. I don't need a coach anymore,” Yuri said. The other three made awkward eye contact.

“ I can call your grandfather if you want,” Yakov said.

“ No. Don't bother him,” Yuri replied. He rubbed his throat uncomfortably.

“ Do you want ice chips or something to eat? Or I can get the doctor if you're in pain,” Yuuri rambled.

“ I don't want anything.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to be in pain,” Yuuri insisted.” Yuri rolled his eyes as a wave  of pain rolled over him.

“ Just stop, okay? Stop hovering. Stop asking if I'm in pain or if I want anything. Just back off,” he snapped. There was a rapid knock on the door and it was pushed open. Dr. Alcaraz stepped inside wearing a large smile.

“ Hello Yuri. How are you feeling?” She asked. Yuri didn't reply, he didn't even turn to face her. She didn't seem to take offense at all. “I'm going to change your bandages, okay?” She walked around to the other side of the bed and peeled back the blanket to expose his left leg. Yuri just laid there while she cut off the gauze. “The anesthetic should be wearing off by now. Can you feel this?” She trailed a pen across the bottom of his foot. His toes twitched. “Good.” she repeated the action up his shin. “How about now?” Yuri gave a single, curt nod. “Perfect,” she smiled. Yuri's knee was bruised and swollen with two rows of stitches on either side of his knee cap. She prodded the area gently and Yuri flinched. His face screwed up but he didn't object to the contact. “Sorry,” she said quietly. “I can administer a higher dose of morphine.”

“ What's the point. It's gonna hurt for a long time I might as well get used to it.” Dr. Alcaraz frowned but didn't push the subject. She placed the button for the morphine drip close by.

“ If you change your mind.” She wrote something down on the chart. “You will be discharged tonight if nothing changes. Have you decided on a physical therapist?”

“ I don't want physical therapy,” Yuri said. He kept his back to her.

“ I'd hate to think you'd let all my hard work go to waste,” she propped her hands on her hips. “It's not easy putting a knee back together you know.”

“ Are you done?” Yuri asked sarcastically.

“ Yeah. I'm done.” Dr. Alcaraz closed his chart forcefully and turned to leave, gesturing for the three companions to join her in the hall. She closed the door behind them.

“ It's my understanding that you are his coach, a teammate, and a.. fellow competitor?”

“ That is correct,” Yakov replied. She nodded and shifted so she was holding Yuri's chart against her hip.

“ I've noticed you're having trouble deciding on a recovery plan.”

“ Well, Yuri has always been stubborn,” Victor said. “He doesn't like the idea of putting his career on hold. You understand.” Dr. Alcaraz pursed her lips and lifted her eyebrows.

“ While that may be the case his career will be  _ over _ if he doesn't peruse treatment. Half-assing physical therapy isn't going to cut it. He needs to dedicate himself fully to rehabilitation and even then I cannot guarantee he will be at the level he was before.”

“ Of course. I can assure you Yuri  _ will _ go to physical therapy,” Yakov said.

“ Can you? Assure me?” Dr. Alcaraz spoke in a way that was tinged with attitude.

“ He lives with me, getting him there would be no problem.” Dr. Alcaraz scoffed.

“ Getting him there's not the problem.” Her eyes narrowed at them. “I've been doing this a long time. I know what it looks like when a patient has given up.” She pointed to the closed door behind them. “That boy in there is going to have to pour his heart and soul into treatment just to be able to jog again. Not skate, not flip around in the air or whatever it is you do, but to jog.” She paused looking at the defeat that crossed their features. She shifted her weight and backed off a bit. “You need to find  _ someone _ that can convince him to give it his all. I mean no disrespect, but whatever it is y'all are doing isn't cutting it.” Their eyes fell to the floor. “Come one now chins up. Moping isn't going to solve anything. He has to have someone. Family, friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, next door neighbor,  _ anyone. _ ” Victor thought but all he could do was shake his head.

“ I-I don't know,” he admitted. Yakov too was at a loss.

“ You people spend everyday with him I find it hard to believe you don't know a single thing about him,” Dr. Alcaraz said.

“ He doesn't train with anyone his age at the rink. And at home... he's extremely private with his personal life,” Yakov said. Dr. Alcaraz raised an eyebrow at them. “I could call Lilia, she might know something.”

“ What about Otabek Altin?” Yuuri asked. They all turned their eyes on him.

“ The Kazakh skater from the Grand Prix?” Victor asked. Yuuri nodded.

“ They spent a lot of time together after the competition and judging from Yurio's social media they kept in touch.”

“ The motorcycle rider?” Yakov asked, his face paled a bit. Of course, of all the people Yuri could have made friends with... it had to be someone with an affinity for riding a mechanical death trap. Dr. Alcaraz's pager went off and she began to take off down the hall running off towards the next emergency.

“ Well, whoever he is get him here. I'll be back as soon as I can,” she called over her shoulder. Victor leaned against the wall next to Yuri's door.

“ Assuming we can contact him, just what exactly are we going to say?” He asked. Yuuri peaked through the narrow window on the door.

“ I don't think we have to worry about that,” he said. The other two looked over his shoulder and saw Yuri curled up on the bed holding his phone close to his face. Every few seconds his thumbs would dance across the screen and he would pause to read a text reply.

' **Beka, something happened...'**

One minute Otabek was receiving a text at the gym and the next he was online buying a plane ticket. He was on the phone with Yuri while he packed.

“ Don't come all the way out here. There's nothing you can do,” Yuri groaned.

“ When are you getting discharged?” Otabek asked, jamming a charging cable in his carry on.

“ Tonight, probably.”

“ You're still living with your coaches right?” Yuri sighed and closed his eyes.

“ I'm serious Beka, get your money back. I'm fine,” Yuri said.

“ Yura- shut up. I'll see you in a few hours.” Otabek hung up the phone and finished shoving things in his bag. Yuri rolled over in bed. Yakov walked back into the room once the call ended, he was reading over an email.

“ Yakov?” His coach hummed in reply. “Can you tell Lilia I have a friend coming over?”

When Dr. Alcaraz returned to sign the discharge papers she was relieved to see Yuri sitting up and engaged with whatever as on his phone. He looked up at her, “it's about time.”

“ In a hurry?” She asked, checking and noting his vitals.

“ I've got plans,” he said as she looked at his eyes with a penlight.

“ Well, you're in luck. I don't see any reason why you can't go home.” She finished his chart and signed off at the bottom. “I'll have one of my interns come in and explain the aftercare for your sutures and stretches to maintain good blood flow.” Yuri nodded. Yakov shook her hand and thanked her on her way out. “You're welcome. I'll be watching for you in next years skate finals.” She was halfway out the door when she added, “And tell Mr. Altin I said hi.”

Yuri was wheeled out and carefully placed in the backseat of Yakov's car. Yuuri and Victor had left earlier to let their dog out. The passenger seat was filled with prescriptions. Yuri's leg was stretched across the bench seat, the brace he had to wear was large and bulky. When they got to Lilia's house she was waiting on the front porch. Yuri hobbled up to her on crutches.

“ It could be worse,” She said. Yuri rolled his eyes and she ushered him inside without another word. Yuri stretched out across her couch and scrolled through his phone. He perked up when Otabek texted him, saying he was on his way. He tapped through the many airplane selfies and window pictures Otabek had sent him on Snapchat.

Before he knew it a clean shaven, leather clad, nineteen year old on was standing on his doorstep. Yuri struggled to get up off the couch but Yakov was already opening the door. Otabek greeted him politely.

“ He's in there,” Yakov said. Otabek nodded and walked past him. Yakov lingered in the open doorway looking around the driveway. Eventually, he closed the door when it was clear Otabek had taken a taxi and not his motorcycle. Yuri couldn't help the way his lips twitched in a smile when their eyes met. Otabek glanced at the cut on his face and the brace on his leg.

“ Damn... I might actually have a chance at the China Cup now.” Yuri scoffed and threw a pillow at him.

“ This is a big deal idiot,” he snapped. Otabek caught the pillow easily.

“ Yeah, for me!” Otabek said in a voice that was clearly joking. He tossed the pillow back on the couch. He dropped the joking air and with it his smile faded.

“ Move over,” he demanded.

It took a minute of adjusting but soon enough, the two were resting comfortably on the sofa. Yuri's leg was laid across Otabek's lap and the older skater was trailing his fingers up and down his shin.

“ How long?” Otabek asked.

“ 6-8 months,” Yuri deadpanned. He tried not to think about how long that actually was. Otabek's face settled into his normal, stoic, expression.

“ It will go by faster than you think.” Yuri rolled his eyes. His head was hurting again. “You are young, you have time to get back to where you were. One missed season isn't the end of the world.”

“ I might never come back,” Yuri said with his eyes trained on the floor. Otabek wrapped his arm around Yuri's shoulders and rubbed the back of Yuri's neck.

“ You'll be okay Yura,” He said.

“ You don't know that. No one knows that,” Yuri said, melting into Otabek's touch. Lilia answered her phone in the kitchen and was talking loud enough for everyone in the house to hear.

“ Popped out of place completely... yes I know.... I'm not sure what I'll do with this season's choreography... well if she's interested...” She walked past the entrance to the living room. Her eyes flashed over the two of them. “We can talk payment later.” Yuri groaned and tipped his head back.

“ Let's go upstairs,” he said, desperate to get out of earshot. Otabek helped him stand and handed Yuri his crutches. They had to pass the office door to get to the staircase. No matter how stealthy they tried to be the tapping of the crutches on the hardwood floor gave them away.

“ Yuri leave the door open please,” Yakov said, not looking up from his desk. Yuri made a face and turned to face the open office door.

“ Why?”

“ It's a house rule.” Yuri locked eyes with Otabek his annoyed expression was amplified.

“ Funny, it wasn't a 'house rule' last time Mila was over,” He said.

“ Well, yes, but that wasn't... I mean with Mila you weren't...” Yakov looked between the two of them helplessly. Yuri watched Otabek blush and a light bulb went off over his head.

“ Wait... you think? Beka and I?” Yuri scoffed. “I love him but I'm not  _ in  _ love with him. Stop being gross.” Yakov's eyes widened. He looked at the stoic, muscular, figure standing in his doorway in complete disbelief.

“ Yuri he's like my brother but we're not...I uh, I have a girlfriend,” Otabek stammered.

“ He has a girlfriend,” Yuri repeated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Yakov paled and turned back to his work.

“ Forget I said anything.” Yuri turned back to the staircase.

“ Hmmm... how is this going to work?” He mumbled. He turned to Otabek. “Do you think you could maybe...” Otabek's eyebrows raised slightly but he complied. Yuri sent him a devilish grin and hopped onto his back. Otabek was careful not to ram Yuri's leg into any walls or door frame. “Second on the left,” Yuri said once they reached the top of the stairs. Once Otabek had walked inside Yuri kicked the door closed for good measure. 

Yuri's room was very plain. He hadn't bothered moving most of his stuff into the guest room, it was meant to be temporary. Otabek set him down on the bed. He scooted back to rest his back against the headboard. His skull was pounding. Otabek sat next to him.

“ Speaking of your girlfriend,” Yuri began, “what did Julia say about your spontaneous trip to Russia?”

Otabek groaned. Yuri turned to face him with a raised brow.

“ I knew I forgot something,” he said.

“ You forgot to tell her?” Yuri said in disbelief. “You're a crap boyfriend you know that right?”

“ I was a bit distracted,” Otabek said. Yuri shook his head and

rested it against Otabek's shoulder.

“ She's gonna dump your ass one of these days.”

“ Believe me I know.” Otabek pulled his knee up, bumping Yuri's leg in the process. Yuri winced and sucked in air through his teeth. “Sorry-” Otabek looked at Yuri's pained face with worry leaking out of his features.

“ It's fine,” Yuri said through grit teeth. His leg was twitching, every small movement made it feel like needles being stabbed in his knee cap.

“ You should take something,” Otabek said, sitting up on the bed.

“ No, I don't need it. The drugs make me feel sick.”

“ You're in pain...” Otabek trailed off.

“ And I will be for a long time. Drop it,” Yuri snapped. His eyes widened as the words left his mouth. “Sorry, I didn't mean that.”

“It's okay. Did you at least tell your coach you were leaving?” Yuri asked, trying to press the pain out of his head on Otabek’s shoulder.

“ Yeah. She wasn't too happy about it but she'll get over it.”

“ Like she got over you doing her daughter?” Yuri ground out. Otabek chuckled with a light shaking of his head. “I have a feeling Julia won't love finding out you're traveling from her mom,” Yuri added.

“ J will understand. I'll call her tonight and explain. She's a fan of yours you know.” He reached over and pulled Yuri's laptop off the bedside table.

“ Does that make you jealous?” Yuri asked, there was a whisper of his usual banter in his voice. Otabek powered on the computer.

“ Like you wouldn't believe,” he mumbled, passing over the laptop so Yuri could put in the password. Once unlocked, Otabek logged into his twitter. So far the news about Yuri's injuries hadn't gotten out. Yuri was still gripping Otabek’s sleeve with clawed hands. “She’s watched your Grand Prix Final performance at least a hundred times and even considers herself an Angel,” Otabek said trying to get Yuri’s attention. “She gets mad at me because I don’t give her every detail about what we do when we hang out.” Yuri’s head tipped up just enough so he could see Otabek’s worried expression. “I promised I’d introduce the two of you.” 

“Bring her with you next time you decide to crash here unexpected,” Yuri ground out. He shifted so he was laying back against the pillows. “Just don’t be surprised if we run away together.” Otabek laughed. 

“I doubt it. She might be your fan but she gives me  _ plenty  _ of attention.” He wiggled his brow. 

“Leave,” Yuri said pointing to the door.

“Ok I’ll stop,” Otabek said. Yuri wrapped both hands around his head. It felt like his skull was splitting. “Yura, please, take something.” Otabek leaned over and placed a hand on Yuri’s shoulder. Yuri’s eyes were watering and his jaw was clamped shut. “You need to take something.” Yuri nodded. No words would come out but he nodded. Otabek got up and Yuri whined as the movement jostled him. Otabek returned just a minute later with a pill and a glass of water. He coaxed Yuri to sit up and take it. Immediately, Yuri felt relief. He was able to relax as a warm feeling settled over him. He wordlessly pulled Otabek back against the headboard and curled up in his arms. Otabek’s lip pulled up in a smile.  _ Drugged Yuri is cuddly, _ he thought. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah,” Yuri admitted. “Thank you.” He nuzzled his nose against Otabek’s neck. 

“That tickles Yuri,” Otabek said turning his head away. 

“You smell good.” Otabek leaned back to get a good look at his best friend. Yuri’s pupils were blown and his cheeks were rosy. 

“What the hell is in that prescription?” 

“I don’t know but it’s good,” Yuri said, drawing out his words. Otabek laughed under his breath. “Wanna watch Netflix?” 

Yuri didn’t even make it through one episode before falling asleep. Otabek too was dozing off listening to the TV show play quietly. By the fourth episode the bedroom was silent, filled with quiet breathing. 

It was the pain in his head that pulled him back to the real world. Yuri opened his eyes and looked around. He was in his room, in his bed, and his best friend was sleeping next to him. The pain medication was keeping his knee pain free but it wasn’t doing much of anything for his head. His stomach clenched painfully. 

“Stupid drugs,” he mumbled. He looked over at Otabek but couldn’t bring himself to wake him. Instead, Yuri reached over for his crutches. Getting off the bed wasn’t that challenging it was crossing his room that proved to be an issue. He made it halfway to the door when a wave of dizziness overtook him. He fell to the ground with a crash. Otabek shot up from the bed.

“Yuri?” He reached over and turned on the lamp. He hopped off of the bed and kneeled next to the dazed teenager. “What happened?” Yuri shook his head. One hand was clamped over his stomach. 

“I’m gonna be sick,” he gasped. Otabek pulled over the trashcan just in time. Yuri wretched, holding himself up with one arm and holding the plastic trash bin with the other. Otabek slid over and pulled Yuri’s hair back. “God,” Yuri moaned in between gagging. The motion made it feel like a knife as being driven through his temples. Otabek pulled the hair tie off Yuri’s wrist and used it to secure his hair back. After a minute Yuri sat back. His face was pale and his eyes were leaky. 

“Are you ok?” Otabek asked. Yuri looked at him but he didn’t see him. His brain was on fire. He grabbed his head with both hands folding in on himself. “Yuri?” 

“It hurts,” Yuri wailed. 

“I don’t understand, the medication shouldn’t have worn off yet,” Otabek said. 

“I can’t take it. I don’t want the surgery,” Yuri slurred. Otabek’s eyebrows knit. He moved the trash can and forced Yuri to look at him. “She should be here.”

“Lilia?” Otabek asked. 

“No, no…” Yuri trailed off. His eyes screwed closed. Otabek bit his lip and held Yuri up.

“Do you know where you are?” He asked. Yuri’s breath hitched. 

“The rink. I snuck in. There’s a hole in the fence and the back door-”

“No. Yura, you’re home. We’re in you’re room.” Yuri looked around in a haze. Sweat had gathered on his brow. Otabek’s words didn’t seem to end his confusion. “Yuri what’s my name?” Otabek asked quietly. Yuri didn’t respond. Otabek shook his shoulders. “My name, Yuri, what’s  _ my  _ name?” Desperation soaked his words. Yuri looked at him helplessly. His mouth opened and clothed but nothing came out. Tears spilled from his eyes. Otabek’s eyes widened, fear froze over his chest. “Think. You know my name. You know it.” Yuri continued to cry silently. “You know,” Otabek repeated quietly. 

“I’m sorry,” Yuri gasped. Otabek grabbed him and pulled him into his shoulder. 

“It’s ok. You’re ok. You just need some help that’s all.” Otabek held him close, refusing to let the fear take over his mind. “I have to go wake them up. I have to go,” Otabek said, but he didn’t loosen his grip. He buried his nose in Yuri’s hair. “I have to go,” Otabek said to himself. The body in his arms went stiff. Otabek pulled back to look at him. Yuri’s eyes rolled back in his head and he fell completely limp to the floor. He started shaking- seizing. Otabek’s hands hovered helplessly. “Help! Help!” He screamed. Footsteps ran into the room. When Yakov and Lilia pushed open the door what they saw took ten years off their lives. Otabek was hunched over Yuri’s jerking form. The stoic teenager  had tears in his eyes. “Do something! You have to help him!” Yakov had his phone in his hand and mindlessly dialed for an ambulance. Yuri stopped shaking and Otabek wrapped him in his arms. 

“Help is on the way,” Yakov said. Otabek didn’t even hear him. 

“Yura please, please, please be okay,” he whispered. 

The paramedics had to pry Otabek off to get Yuri into the ambulance. Yakov climbed in with him. 

“I have to go too. You have to let me go too!” Otabek pleaded. 

“I’m sorry sir only one can ride,” the paramedic said pulling the doors closed. Otabek’s lungs contracted painfully. 

“Come on, I’m driving we’ll meet them,” Lilia said. She put her hand on Otabek’s back and lead the teenager to her car. The ride was silent. Otabek’s leg bounced. “He’ll be alright. Yuri’s a fighter.”

“He’s more than that,” Otabek said, “he’s a soldier.”

///

At night everything is quiet, it’s peaceful. But in a hospital there is no day and night there is only time. Time and chaos. 

“His pupils are blown and unresponsive to light.” They were moving him quickly, they had to. Yuri’s eyes were cracked open and he watched the fluorescent ceiling lights run past him down the hall.  He watched them march rhythmically over his head. Vaguely, he wondered what they were running from. He blinked and he was strapped to a bed. He had needles in his arms and a tube down his throat. They bustled around him like ants; they were all moving, shouting, and dressed like they were walking into battle. A loud mechanical buzzing circled his head. 

“Mr. Plisetsky,” A woman shifted into his line of sight. “We have to relieve the pressure in your skull. You’re going to hear the drill but it is extremely important that you do not move.” Yuri blinked at her and then she was gone. He could feel them drilling the burr holes but because of the tube he couldn’t scream. 

“There’s too much blood.”

“Get him to the OR  _ now.” _

Yuri closed his eyes while they prepped him, stripping him of his warm clothes and replacing them with a paper gown. He didn’t flinch as the razor passed over his scalp and his golden locks tumbled past his cheek onto the floor. They put the mask over his face and he could feel the world fading. A mechanical whirring got closer to his ears. Saw. 

_ Wait! I’m still here. I’m still-  _

Yuri was dead to the world and the doctors in the room fought like hell to make sure they could bring him back after. 

**///**

They sat in uncomfortable chairs in an empty lobby. Yakov was on his phone for hours. Victor picked up right away, the junior trainer responded to his voicemail, Mila was still up when he canceled their morning session, the only number he was still trying to reach was Daria Plisetsky. So far, no luck. When Victor and Yuuri  arrived the atmosphere of the hospital changed. Victor was agitated. He paced around the small room and nothing Yuuri could say could calm him. When, finally, the surgeon arrived he was immediately pounced upon.

“Yuri had intracranial hemorrhaging, bleeding in the brain, caused by the impact of his fall. We managed to stop the bleed and relieve the pressure on his brain.”  

“How could you have missed it!” Victor growled. “He was here hours ago and you ran every test in the book.” 

“The bleeding wasn’t visible on the initial MRI. Usually, with impact injuries any bleeding will resolve itself in a few hours. We believe that because the pain medication he was taking can thin blood, the bleed became much worse,” The doctor explained. Otabek felt ice run through his veins. 

“I made him take it,” he said.  “He was in pain but he didn’t want…” He took a  shaky breath. “This is my fault.” The doctor shook his head. 

“Anything could have caused this bleeding, a change in blood pressure, physical activity, this is not your fault. There is no way you could have known.”

“No, but you should have,” Victor said under his breath. 

“Is there going to be any lasting damage?” Yakov asked. The doctor turned to him.

“We caught the bleeding early but… there is a chance that we weren't early enough.” Yakov sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.  

“What’s the worse case scenario?” The doctor shifted on his feet. 

“Because of the location of the bleeding there could be damage to his speech, motor skills, personality, impulse control, memory, There’s no knowing the extent of the damage- if there is any- until he wakes up,  _ if _ he wakes up.” 

“If?” Lilia asked in a strangled voice. 

“He’s not out of the woods yet.” 

“Oh-” Lilia put a hand to her mouth and blinked rapidly. 

“I am so sorry. This should have  _ never  _ happened.” The surgeon looked over them, over the carnage, and left.

Yakov was stunned. Lilia was broken. Victor was in a rage. And Otabek couldn’t breathe.  

“His personality-everything could be different, he could be different,” Otabek said, biting his lower lip, “he might not be my best friend anymore.” Otabek inhaled deeply and turned on his heels to walk away. Before he had a chance to flee Victor stopped him with a firm,

“Altin.” Otabek froze. He refused to turn to face them, his competition, he refused to let them see the way his lip quivered. “He needs you,” Victor said. Otabek’s eyes squeezed shut. 

“No,” he said. His voice was as steady as the legs of a newborn foal. “I can’t be here when he wakes up and realizes he can’t speak.” Otabek fought to keep his eyes dry. “ I can’t be there when he wakes up as someone I don’t recognize, or someone who doesn’t recognize me.” He looked back at them. “I’m sorry.” Otabek took off down the hall. They let him go. 

They walked down the hall like they were part of a parade.  Yuri’s was in the ICU, a place where numerous visitors weren't allowed yet  no one dared to stop them.  Lilia didn’t walk in. She waved them in with one hand and covered her face with the other. Yakov touched her shoulder as they walked in. Victor had to close his eyes. Yuri hadn’t looked so small in years. The teenager was hooked up to every machine in the room. His hair was shaved in a patch along the left side of his head and bandages hugged his skull. Yuuri looked at the two men standing frozen and  as far from the bed as possible.  He cleared his throat and elbowed Victor lightly. Victor didn’t respond aside from shifting his weight onto the other foot. Yakov, too, had his feet rooted to the floor.  

“Unbelievable,” Yuuri mumbled. He pushed past them and sat in the chair close to Yuri’s side. “Everyone’s really worried you know,” he said, taking Yuri’s hand. “I was worried Victor was going to kill your doctor. He was being really rude you would have approved.” Victor seemed to snap out of his trance and sat down next to Yuuri. They talked. Well, Yuuri talked. His words were directed at the sleeping teenager but they did more to comfort the other two as  his words filled the silence. 

Otabek paced outside the front doors. His mind was at war. Fight or flight. Stay or run. 

“It’s Yuri,” he ground out under his breath.  _ Go to him. Go.  _  But he couldn’t. Guilt slithered up his leg like a snake and burrowed its way into his chest. 

“You knew he had a headache. You should have said something,” the voice in his head hissed. “You could have saved him…. But now you’ve lost him.” His guilt slithered down and knotted in his gut. His fist collided forcibly with the building’s brick walls, so hard that  skin split and knuckled jammed. He grit his teeth against the numbing amounts of pain that spiraled up his arm but it at least silenced the voices in his head. He cradled his bloodied hand and placed outside the doors. People walked in past him, paramedics, doctors, family members, and each time he considered walking in with them; he would trace their footsteps with his all the way to the elevator, from there he would go to the ICU and he would sit, for however long it took Yuri to wake up, he would be there. But as the people came and went he remained rooted to the cement outside the sliding doors. Thunder boomed above him and with it came a downpour of freezing rain. He turned his face up towards the sky and let it wash over him. His temper was extinguished under the wash. Before he fully wiped the rain from his eyes, before he could see what he was doing, he walked up to the automatic doors and inside. 

He walked numbly up to Yuri’s door. Lilia was standing there. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she stared at the closed door in front of her with empty eyes. When Otabek stepped next to her her gaze flickered in his direction for a fraction of a second. 

“They’re all inside. Sitting with him,” her voice didn’t sound like hers.  

“Is he awake?” Otabek asked. 

“Ah- no. Not yet.” Otabek nodded once. “It’s good you came back,” Lilia said. “He’ll be glad to see you when he wakes up.” Otabek took in her words with no idea how to respond. 

“What’s on the other side of that door?” Otabek asked, trying to brace himself for whatever he was about to walk into. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t…” Lilia trailed off. “But you should go see him, sit with him.” 

“Right. Of course,” Otabek said. He didn’t make a move to open the door. They stood like that, still and motionless, listening to the murmur of a voice inside. Nurses passed them and their eyes burned holes in their backs.  Lilia looked at the young adult standing next to her. 

“Together?” 

The atmosphere in the dim hospital room was gloomy to say the least. Yuuri had run out of energy and the only thing breaking the silence was the steady beep of the heart monitor. It was unnerving- the quiet. Otabek’s eyes locked onto Yuri’s face everything in him was begging the younger to wake up. A doctor entering broke the quiet. 

“Hello everyone,” she said. She walked over and opened Yuri’s chart. Her eyes trailed first over the paper and then over the blank expressions around the room. “Well, everything looks good.” She peeked under the bandages on Yuri’s head. “His prep team tried to shave as little as possible,” she commented. Otabek held back a chuckle. “Still it’s a shame.” At the doctor’s words Otabek broke out in laughter. Everyone was looking at him like he belonged in the psych ward. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said, doing his best to collect himself. “It’s just that out of all the things that could be wrong with him, all the horrible, terrible, life changing things that could be wrong, the thing he’s going to be most upset about is the fact that they had to cut his hair.” Next to him Yuuri chuckled under his breath. 

“Um, there is no indication of any mental or physical deficits at this point,” the doctor said. “We’ll know more when he wakes up.”

“I’d prepare yourself,” Otabek said, “Once he sees what you’ve done to his locks of gold you’re in for major verbal abuse.” 

“That is if he can,” Victor said from the other side of the room. He too broke out in soft laughter with a finger resting on his upper lip.  The room filled with out of place laughter. 

“You shouldn’t laugh,” Lilia scolded, “his whole personality could be changed!” 

“Wouldn’t that be a  _ shame?”  _ Yakov grunted.  “He’s such a  _ peach _ as is.” At this even Lilia let out a strangled snort. 

“This is extremely inappropriate,” she muttered, wiping the laughter induced tears from her eyes. The young doctor was clearly flustered. 

“His surgeon will be in shortly to evaluate his cognitive state. Ah- if he doesn’t wake up within the hour the chances of comatose increase substantially.”  

“Yurio did always love to sleep in,” Yuuri said. At this point the doctor escaped gracefully. 

“Oh course, he needs his beauty sleep,” Victor said. A new wave of laughter floated about the room. Otabek felt something in his stomach shift. 

“He’s always up all night, some rest could do him well,” Yakov added. 

“He’d probably like it better if he didn’t have to wake up anyway,” Otabek’s laughter became more bitter. His chest contracted. “It’s quiet and no one would be there to annoy him.” Otabek’s eyes watered and a tear fell from his eye. Everyone’s laughter ceased. Otabek turned to Yuri’s sill form. 

“Honestly Yura, what did you think was going to happen?” He took Yuri’s hand in his. “You’re an idiot. Really. Selfish, impulsive- do you even think about how your actions affect others? Do you care?!” He didn’t realize how loud his voice had grown or how hard he was squeezing Yuri’s hand until Victor’s grip on his shoulder jarred him back to reality. “I didn’t mean-” 

“It’s alright,” Victor said. Otabek released Yuri’s hand but didn’t pull his away from the mattress. He could feel them staring at the bruised, swollen, mess resting next to Yuri’s thin, pale hand. The atmosphere was more broken now. Otabek hung his head and wiped his eyes dry. 

“You’re an asshole,” Yuri’s rough voice said. Everyone’s head snapped up. 

“Yuri?” Otabek gasped. He stood and looked over Yuri’s face. His eyes were only open half way but they were bright. They were awake and alive. “You heard me? You can hear?” 

“Yes. What the hell did you do to your hand?” Yuri asked. Otabek ignored his question. 

“I thought…” Otabek stopped and smiled. Yuri glared at his strange expression, at all of their strange expressions. 

“Welcome back,” Victor said with his usual chirpiness. Yuri rolled his eyes. Yakov pressed the call button to alert the doctors. Meanwhile, Yuri ran a hand over his head. He froze. His lip curled up in a snarl. 

“What the fuck did they do to my hair?”  

**///**

Days of needle poking and mind fogging medication past and Yuri was finally moved out of the ICU. Otabek was, much to Yuri’s dismay, still loyally at his side. Yuuri had to drag Victor away to  keep up on training, Lilia had a studio to run, and Yakov had to leave for a few hours a day to oversee training at the rink. That meant for the majority of the day it was just the two of them sitting in the small hospital room and it made Yuri feel sick. Otabek wasn’t injured, he wasn’t on off season, and he should be training. He had to be on the ice not sitting in the same plastic chair for days on end. Yuri looked over at him while they were watching shitty day time television. 

“Go home idiot,” he said. Otabek’s eyes flickered over at him. 

“I will. Eventually,”  he replied with the hint of a smile. Yuri crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Then will you at least go take a shower? You're starting to reek.” Otabek received a text and they both reached for it. “Lemme see. I’m sick of TV dramas.” The door was shoved open forcefully and they both jumped. Yakov ran into the room with a stunned expression. They both looked at him waiting impatiently for whatever he had to say. 

“She returned my call,” his voice was full of disbelief. “She’s here.” 

“Who?” Yuri asked. 

“Your mother.” Yuri's hand fell into his lap. His throat seemed to close up. 

“You called her … after everything she did?” Panic rose in his chest and mimicked fury. 

“Yuri, you kept asking for her,” Yakov said. 

“I was out of my fucking mind! Why would you- I don’t want-” the sound of high heeled shoes against the floor caused his mouth to snap shut. 

A thin woman with neat blond hair stepped into the room. Her lips were pressed in a thin line as she canvassed the scene. Yuri’s face resembled that of a small child. 

“Would you give me a minute alone with my  _ son _ ?” She asked pointedly. Yakov and Otabek stood,  Yuri’s fingers pulled on his sleeve as he started to leave. 

“Beka,” he whispered under his breath. His eyes were pleading. Otabek looked over his shoulder, his face was apologetic but he pulled free and left the room anyway. His mother looked at him. Her eyes trailed carefully over his leg and head. She had the decency to wait for the door to close before ambushing him. 

“You must be a special kind of idiotic. Training at night?” She paused and itched her perfectly plucked brow. “Are you alright?” 

Yuri grit his teeth and ignored her question. 

“Nice to see you too mama. How long has it been?” Yuri asked sarcastically. 

“Don’t start with that. You know I have to work.” 

“Every day of the year?” Daria glared at him. 

“You complain but you have no problem spending my money on lessons and costumes,” she said. Yuri rolled his eyes. Her yelling was giving him a headache. “This is unacceptable. Honestly, do you have any idea how much trouble this has caused me?” Yuri's blood started to boil. “Do you realize how expensive this is going to be? I had plans for this insurance money.” Yuri cut her off before she could continue on her rant. 

“I'm sorry for the  _ inconvenience,”  _ he said through grit teeth. “However can I repay you.”  

She looked at him and with an almost undetectable twist of her shoulders, she brought his whole world crashing down. 

“I’m cutting your skating allowance.” Yuri's eyes widened.

“You can’t! I need that money to compete,” he gasped. 

“It will be a lifestyle adjustment that’s for sure.” 

“Please don’t do this. I’ll find sponsors but I need time-”

“I gave you time, Yura. I gave you  _ years _ .”

“And I became a world champion!” Yuri's voice had grown loud and frantic. 

“And I’m proud of you for that but it’s time,” Daria said.

“I’m not done yet.” Yuri was choked up.

“I’m sorry.” Yuri wanted to destroy her. He wanted to force her to take it back. 

“No, you’re not. You wouldn’t be doing this if you were,” he spat. Daria’s hand reached to brush the hair away from his face. 

“I know you’re upset now but you’ll see.  I’m doing this because I love you,” she said with an honest softness to her voice. Yuri’s hands closed in tight fists. 

“What kind of mother are you?!” He screamed. “You’re taking everything from me. You don’t love me. You don’t know how.” Her eyes widened and she fought to keep her voice steady.

“This is me loving you!” She snapped. “You could have died! How am I supposed to leave you here when you behave this recklessly. I can’t go to work terrified I’ll get another call.” Yuri had enough respect left in him to at least look slightly ashamed. “And have you thought about how hard it would be to return? You’ve never experienced that kind heartbreak and the defeat, coming back as a mere  shadow of yourself.” Her eyes began to water. “They won’t treat you the same. I don’t want you to get your hopes up because no matter how hard you try- the skating world is cruel.” She paused. Yuri’s face was blank. 

“You don’t know anything,” he said.

“I do know. I  _ tried. _ And believe me, I wish I had an excuse like yours. An injury is at least honorable, you can walk away from this with your head held high,” she said. “Focus on your studies and find a career. You have a place for you at the firm-”

“You’re boyfriend’s shitty pharmaceutical business is not where I want to waste my life.” Daria sighed.

“You have to be realistic.”

“I am. I’ll be on the ice next year and I swear to God I’ll die before I let anyone beat me. Maybe you couldn’t come back but it’s your own fault for getting knocked up. You say you tried but if it’s anything like how you tried to parent you obviously didn’t put in that much effort-” a sharp slap across his cheek shut him up. 

“You have no right,” Daria said through clenched teeth. “You asked for me. I’m here for  _ you. _ ”  

“I don’t want you here,” Yuri said, raising a hand to his cheek. To her credit, Daria looked genuinely hurt.

“Fine. I wish you the very best. Call me when you’ve decided to stop being a child.” She turned and wiped her eyes before exiting the room. 

She walked down the hall briskly, pausing for a second when she saw Yakov and Otabek walking down the hall in the opposite direction. “Will you  _ please _ call me when they’re going to discharge him? I’ll have someone come pick him up.”

“I can handle transportation,” Yakov said. She looked thoroughly annoyed.

“I mean to bring him home. Our company is relocating at the end of the year and Yuri will be moving with me.” She glanced at their shocked expressions while she waited for the elevator. “What you thought I would let him stay here? I made the mistake to trust him to you once and I will not be doing that again,” she snapped. Yakov’s jaw dropped. 

“You can’t take him,” Otabek said. “His doctors are here and so’s his career.” Daria looked him over with bored eyes. 

“Both of which are no longer your concern.” The elevator door opened and she stepped on. “I’ll be expecting your call,” she said as the doors closed. They looked at each other and booked it to Yuri’s room.

Yuri dialed the memorized number again but like the last time, he was sent straight to voicemail. Otabek and Yakov walked into the room. Yuri tried the number again. 

“Come on,” he mumbled. 

“Yuri?” Otabek asked. 

‘Sorry the number you are trying to reach is unavailable-’

“Dammit,” Yuri cursed.” 

“What did she say?” Yakov asked. 

“You’ve done enough,” Yuri said. He pointed to the door with his phone still pressed against his ear. Yakov took a deep breath and walked back out of the room. Yuri tried calling again. 

“What’s going on?” Otabek asked. 

“Shut up,” Yuri snapped. The call didn’t go through. “Come on!” He cried. He threw his phone away from him and moved so his leg was hanging off the side of the bed. He yanked his braced leg towards the floor. Otabek jumped, pushing him back into the bed. 

“What the hell are you doing? You know you can’t walk.”

“I have to go after her. She’s not answering her phone I have to stop her,” Yuri said, fighting against Otabek’s hands.

“Slow down, please,” Otabek said, trying to restrain Yuri without hurting him. 

“Let go of me!” Otabek’s grip didn’t let up.

“She’s gone Yura. She left.” Yuri went limp in his arms. He covered his eyes with hands. 

“No,” he moaned. Otabek sat back unsure what to say. Yuri sensed his need for an explanation and quietly he gave one. “She cut me off. I have nothing.”

“What?” 

“Even if I am able to skate again I can’t afford to compete. Hell, I can’t even afford rent. I’m going to have to study to sell pharmaceuticals,” Yuri rambled. “Her boyfriend just moved into our apartment and I can’t stay with Lilia if I’m not skating-” 

“Take a breath,” Otabek interrupted. He put a hand on Yuri’s shoulder. “It’s going to be ok.”

“You don’t know that. Beka I’m broke! Do you know how much money I give Yakov every month? She blames me for her career ending. I bet she's overjoyed she’s finally getting back at me-”

“Take. A. Breath.” Yuri locked eyes with him. “We’ll figure this out,” Otabek said. Yuri looked away.

“There is no we. It’s just me. I’m on my own now more than ever.” Otabek’s brow creased. 

“Yura-”

“Just leave me alone. Please,” Yuri said. He rolled over and faced the wall. Otabek bit his lip and stepped back towards the door. 

“I don’t want to leave you like this.”

“Beka,” Yuri snapped. Otabek could hear the upset in his voice. He nodded and walked out of the room. 

Yuri didn’t move for two days. He refused to eat and he didn’t listen to the nurses. Otabek’s week was up. If he didn’t return home now his coach would kick him out of the program. 

“Yura, I have to be on a plane in two hours will you please talk to me?” He pleaded. Yuri didn’t make a sound. “You can’t mope forever. There are options you just have to make an effort.” Otabek sighed at the lack of response. “You’re really not going to say anything?” Yuri sighed. 

“You’re going to do great things Beka. Don’t stop until you’re the best because I know you can be,” Yuri said with a scratchy, unused, voice. Otabek swallowed. 

“Don’t be so dramatic. I’ll skype you when I get back it will be like it was a week ago,” Otabek said. Yuri looked at him, really looked at him and said,

“Things will  _ never _ be like they were.” 


	2. Chapter II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Victor’s head snapped back and he fell onto the ice.   
> 'I said to leave it alone! Why are you so interested!' Yuri screamed. 'I told you this job was a bad idea! I fucking told you!'"

Yuri sat in the unfamiliar bedroom listening to the sound of traffic pass by his window. The walls were plain and the closet was empty. He refused to unpack. No matter how many days past or how many times his mother nagged him he refused to remove his belongings from the boxes in the corner. He didn’t want to tarnish the memories they held. It was worse than staying in the hospital because in this small, modern apartment there was the constant need to put on a performance. The three of them blew around the apartment acting out the life of a family. Silent dinners around the table, tense nights in front of the TV, and a deep resentment emanating from each of them. 

He was dropped off at the hospital every day for physical therapy. He was trapped there for hours even though he only had a forty-five minute long  appointment. PT was utter hell. He would be dripping sweat from a walk down the hall without his crutches. He didn’t think it would hurt as bad as it did. The worst part was the eyes. He was forced to walk laps around the halls on the pediatric wing  as a warmup. Yuri loved to be the center of attention but this, being seen weak and struggling, was ripping him to shreds. A small girl rolled next to him in a wheelchair. She kept pace with his hobbling. Yuri glared at her out of the corner of his eye. 

“What do you want?” He demanded. She seemed unphased by his sharp tongue. 

“You’re Yuri Plisetsky right?” She asked.  Yuri didn’t respond and she took his silence as confirmation. “I saw you on TV last year,” she continued on, “I liked your costume with the sequence that was the coolest one.” He didn’t respond. She looked at him waiting for a response. A few seconds of silence passed. “I skate too you know. Once I get out of here I’ll be training for my junior season.” Yuri glanced at her. Her hopeful nature was incredibly annoying. She opened her mouth to say something else when he cut her off.

“I’m done skating so shut up already.” Her eyes widened. 

“What do you mean you’re done? Are you really hurt? Is that why you’re here? Oh gosh, does that mean you’re not gonna be in the Grand Prix this year? I was going to go see it live!” Yuri remained silent. “Answer me!” She wheeled ahead of him and blocked his path. “You can’t really be done.”

“I am. Now get out of my way.” 

“I don’t believe you. How could you just give up like that!?” She banged a small fist on the arm of her chair. 

“I said  _ move!”  _ Yuri snapped. He tried to scoot past her but she moved at the same time and his knee collided with the side of his chair. His face turned white and he dropped to the floor with a thud. 

“I’m sorry! Are you ok?” Yuri gathered himself, fighting the desire to cry as pain jumped up through his whole body. Her small hand reached down to him. He slapped it away and tried to pull himself up. “Let me help,” she pleaded. 

“Get the hell  away from me!” He spat. She sat back and slowly rolled back down the hall. Yuri used the wall to climb onto his good leg. He looked back over his shoulder and saw her still sitting there, this time with watering eyes. He only had a few feet to the therapy room but it was the longest few feet of his life. 

When he was done he gladly accepted a bottle of water and, on his crutches, hobbled out of the room. He glanced at the clock at the wall and was disheartened to see he would have to find somewhere to tuck down for at least two hours until his mother got off work. He didn’t like waiting in the waiting room- the walls were covered in cartoon characters and the parents sitting anxiously in the uncomfortable chairs made him depressed. He was heading towards a chair by the window when a familiar sound of something rolling caught his ear. He stopped and rolled his eyes. “I know you’re there.” The girl from earlier wheeled up next to him. 

“Is your knee okay? I didn’t mean to hurt it more,” she said.  

“My knee is fu-,” he paused remembering to censor himself, “busted.” It was ridiculous the amount of worry her face could convey. “It’s not  _ your _ fault,” Yuri added in an attempt to make it stop. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. Yuri started moving again towards the chairs in the corner. She followed. He sat down in one of the chairs and propped his foot on the other. She was still there parked right next to him. He had one earbud in and was about to pop in the other when the staring started to get to him. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” He asked. 

“No.” 

“Go find someone else to stare at.” He put the other earbud in and stared out the window. Before the first song could finish playing when he was interrupted by a finger poking his shoulder repeatedly. He yanked his earbuds out and turned on the small child, fuming. She wasn’t phased by his expression at all. 

“How’d you hurt your knee?” 

“I fell.”

“Did getting stitches hurt? I heard from someone that they don’t even put you to sleep for them,” her voice was picking up speed by the second.  

“I don’t remember I was knocked out,” Yuri answered drily. 

“So they do make you sleep,” she concluded. 

“No- I don’t know. I hit my head and when I came to the stitches were done and I was high off my ass on morphine. I don’t remember anything so stop asking about it,” Yuri said.  The girl nodded and for a second it seemed like she was going to be quiet. 

“Do you want to play checkers?” Yuri took a sip of his water and rolled his eyes. 

“No, I don’t.” 

“I have cancer,” she said pointing to the beanie covering her bald head. “You can’t say no to a kid with cancer it’s against the rules.” Yuri coughed on the water that was in his mouth. 

“Seriously? You cancer carded me?” He capped his water bottle and shifted so both feet were on the ground. When he looked back at her she was making an over exaggerated puppy-dog face. “Ok fine. One game.” One game turned into two and then five. 

“How long have you been here?” She asked while taking her turn.

“Four weeks. You?”

“Four months.” Yuri looked up at her socked. “Well actually this time it’s four months but when I was six I was here for a whole year- but that was before the cancer.” 

“Before the cancer?” Yuri asked in disbelief. 

“Yeah,” she moved her checker piece taking one of his kings, “I’m kind of a mess medically.” Yuri snorted and she laughed with him. He took his turn. 

“Where do you keep your gold medal?” She asked canvassing the board.  

“It used to be on my wall but I moved so it’s probably in a box somewhere.” 

“In a box somewhere? It’s from the world championship!” 

“Kid, it’s just a hunk of metal on a ribbon. It’s fine in a box,” Yuri said. There was no way he’d hang that metal in his mother’s house. 

“My name’s Olivia. Not kid. You can call me Olive though, everyone does.”

“I’m not calling you that. It’s stupid,” Yuri deadpanned. 

“You’re stupid,” Olivia said as she moved her piece, “and a loser. I win again.” Yuri sat back and palmed his knee cap. Sitting for so long was causing it to ache. 

“Good for you. I’m done playing games,” Yuri said. 

“Oh come on, don’t be a sore loser. I’ll set it up again.” Yuri shook his head and reached for his crutches. 

“I can’t sit through another round. Sorry,” he winced as he stood the stiff joint was irritated and swelling. She looked at his knee with wide eyes. 

“Ok then, we can do something else. Wanna watch a movie or play games on my iPad?” 

“Olivia…” he trailed off. He was tired and trying not to get frustrated with her. 

“Please, there’s never anyone to hang out with. It gets really boring being by myself.” At just that moment his phone went off signaling the arrival of his mother. 

“I have to go home.”

“Oh,” she said disappointedly. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah okay,” Yuri said. She waved at him as he got on the elevator and hesitantly he waved back. 

///

That’s how he spent the next few weeks. Every day, he would spend the extra hours at the hospital with Olivia. She was young and annoying, but also funny and way more fun to be around than his “family”. One day, they were hanging out in her room watching some old Disney movie when his phone rang. It was Victor and he answered in English (she always found that fascinating). 

“What do you want old man?”   
“Yurio! I was hoping you had some time this afternoon to come to the rink.” Yuri bit his tongue.

“Are you serious? I don’t want to go back there. I’ve told you that a million times.” Olivia’s eyes snapped over at him at the angered tone he was using. He got up and hopped out of the room on one leg not bothering to use his crutches. 

“I know but hear me out we think we’ve come up with an idea that will get you back on the ice.” Yuri paused. He didn’t let himself get hopeful anymore, it was too painful. 

“Victor I can’t even walk up stairs.”

“I don’t mean on the ice tomorrow, just… do you have time?” Yuri sighed. 

“I’m at the hospital right now. There’s no way my mom will drive me and I don’t feel like taking the bus.”

“I’ll pick you up,” Victor said. Yuri bit his lip. He had absolutely no desire to return to the ice he almost died on. Before he could tell Victor no the Russian man ended the call with a quick, “I’ll be there in twenty.” Yuri sighed loudly and hopped back into Olivia’s room. She looked at him with a million questions on her lips. He spoke before she could rattle off any of them.

“Wanna meet Victor Nikiforov?” 

///

Yuri’s stomach was turning uncomfortable on the ride to the rink. When they pulled into the parking lot his hands were shaking. Victor pulled the keys out of the ignition. “This was a bad idea,” Yuri blurted. “I shouldn’t be here. It’s too soon I-” Victor put a hand on his shoulder.

“Relax, this is good news.” Yuri took a deep breath and followed him into the building. He was grateful when they turned towards the offices and not the ice. Victor opened the door to Yakov’s office and they shuffled inside. 

“Yuri, it’s good to see you. How are you?” Yakov asked. Yuri shrugged. 

“What’s this about?” Yuri asked. He didn’t sit down and instead shifted uncomfortably on his feet. 

“With regards to your financial situation, I believe we have found a solution.” 

“I’m not taking charity,” Yuri said. Yakov huffed in a half smile. 

“I’m not offering you charity I’m offering you a job.” Yuri’s eyebrows knit together. “You will work for the rink, giving lessons and assisting with choreography and by the time you’re cleared to start training again my coaching fee and you’re ice time will be covered.” 

“Seriously?” Yakov nodded. “Well I’ll probably never compete again so what’s the point?” Victor frowned at him. 

“Has that been confirmed by your doctor?”

“...No,” Yuri admitted. “But-”

“What happened to you?” Yakov demanded. “You want to be a world champion again don’t you?” 

“Yes,” Yuri mumbled. 

“Good,” Yakov’s tone was softer now. “You start Monday.” Yuri nodded unsure what to think. His knee throbbed and he realized he must have been standing in shocked silence for more than a few minutes. His phone buzzed in his pocket and suddenly he remembered he’s forgotten to tell his mother he was going out. 

“Shit,” Yuri muttered under his breath. He scanned the text quickly. “My mom’s pissed. I have to get home  _ now _ .” 

“Ok, I’ll take you,” Victor said. The older men didn’t particularly like the fear that tinged Yuri’s voice. 

“Thanks,” Yuri looked up from his phone, “and thank you for the job.” Yakov nodded. 

///

When he walked into the apartment he wasn’t ambushed. He walked quietly into the dining area and found his mother and Ivan eating dinner. She dropped her wine glass onto the table hard enough for the wine to dribble down the side. 

“Why are you late?” She demanded. Yuri slid into his seat. 

“A friend picked me up and we went for coffee.”

“Who?”

“Mila, we skate together,” he lied. 

“Mila?” Ivan said in surprise. “Huh.” He picked a piece of meat out of his teeth and took a long swig of water. Yuri glared at him. Ivan shrugged at his expression. “I’m just surprised someone like you managed to get a girlfriend.” 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Yuri hissed he picked up his water and took a sip. Something in Ivan’s eye glint evilly. 

“Let me guess, not enough dick for you?” Yuri coughed violently and slammed his glass on the table. 

“What?” He spat. 

“It’s not important-” Daria tried to cut in.

“No. This little fag is always disrespecting you. I’m sick of it,” Ivan shot back. Yuri picked up his fork and stabbed it into his food. 

“You’re going to let him speak to me like that?” Yuri directed at his mother. She looked between the two of them and said nothing. 

“You think it’s okay to abandon your mother? After everything she’s done for you?” Ivan continued on. Yuri stood and took his plate to the kitchen, scraping his untouched food into the garbage. 

“I got a job,” he said ignoring Ivan all together. 

“You what?” His mother asked. 

“The café was hiring. You keep saying you want me to get on with my life so I am.” Yuri rinsed his plate quickly, put it in the dishwasher and slammed it closed. “I start Monday and it looks like I won't be home for dinner. Don’t wait up,” Yuri said. He limped as fast as he could into his room and shut the door.  He managed to stay there the rest of the weekend without his mother so much as checking in on him.

///    

When he showed up for his appointment Monday morning Olivia was waiting for him. 

“Let’s go gimpy! You’ve got t-minus ten minutes to be warmed up and on that step machine.” 

“Gimpy? That’s a new one,” Yuri said amused. He stood in place for long enough for her to climb up from her chair and onto his back. She called it ‘weight resistance’. The piggy back ride was tough but  it was easier than trying to keep pace with her wheelchair. After the first few steps he adjusted her weight, surprised at how little of it there was for an eleven year old. “You’re losing weight,” he commented. 

“And you’re getting fat. Chop chop,” Olivia shot back. Yuri dropped it and continued down the hall. Olivia became unusually quiet. No questions, no comments... Yuri eventually took it upon himself to break the silence. 

“I got a job,” he grunted. Olivia adjusted her grip on his neck.

“Really?” 

“Yeah, it’s gonna pay for my skating comeback.” Olivia smiled and hung her head over his shoulder so she could look at his face. “What are you doing? Lean back you’re going to fall off.”

“You look happy,” she said. “That’s new.” Yuri rolled his eyes and used a hand to push her forehead back. 

“Just hold on. I have three laps left.” 

“Three and a half actually,” Olivia added, “You have to drop me off at radiation therapy today.”

“Oh so now I’m a chauffeur?” He could feel her nodding against his shoulder blades. “Fine but I’ll probably need to borrow your wheelchair when I’m done.” She mumbled something in return before slumping forward completely dead weight. 

“Hey-” Yuri gasped as his center of gravity was thrown off. He braced himself against the wall. “Olivia? Olive?” She started to slip from his grasp and he dropped to his knees quickly so she wouldn’t fall. He eased her onto the ground. “Help! Someone!” Yuri screamed. 

People swarmed them and she was taken quickly around the corner. 

“What did you do?” Olivia’s mother shouted running up to him. 

“Nothing! I-” 

“Never mind I don’t have time for this.” She took off after her daughter. 

Yuri pulled himself up and tried to go after them. One step and his knee gave out sending him sprawling once again, onto the floor. The physical therapist ran out of her room. 

“Oh Yuri-” she gasped. It was only then that he realized the pain radiating up his thigh. Apparently coming crashing down onto hard linoleum was not good for a heeling joint. She helped him to his feet and forced him into the wheelchair a nurse brought over. 

“I’m fine. I have to go make sure she’s okay-” 

“What you need is an X-ray.” He was being wheeled quickly down the hall. They passed a room and he spotted a familiar purple sweatshirt. 

“Olivia!” He stood and watched the doctors in the room press shock paddles to her chest. Her entire form arched as the electricity coursed through it. “No,” he moaned. His leg gave out and the physical therapist caught his weight and threw him back into the wheelchair. “Get off I have to do something!” He fought against her hands until one of the nurses with Olivia spotted them and closed the curtain around her. “Let go!”

“You can’t do anything!” The physical therapist said. “They’ve got her.” Yuri felt himself go numb and he let her take him away. 

Once the adrenaline was gone he was white and shaky with pain. The X-ray took multiple attempts because of his twitching. Finally, they injected something that the pain stop. He had to wait in a room for half an hour alone. She was dead. He knew it. The thought made his chest ache. There was a knock at the door and Dr. Alcaraz stepped in. 

“How are you feeling?” She asked, looking over his X-rays. 

“Do you know anything about the cancer patient from earlier?” She lowered his scans.

“Yes… they were able to revive her and she is recovering now.” Yuri exhaled and his head fell back in relief. 

“I didn’t realize you were friends,” Dr. Alcaraz said as she felt around Yuri’s knee. 

“She doesn’t have to be my friend for me to not want her dead.” She hit a spot that made him gasp. 

“Sorry-” She felt again but gentler and bit her lip. “You’re patella shifted.” She sat down on a stool and made eye contact with him. “It’s not bad enough to be a dislocation but this is something I was worried about. The muscle around your knee is weak and damaged. You at risk of dislocating it again.” 

“So what more P.T.?” Yuri asked.

“That and more time in a brace. Hopefully you’ll be able to correct the issue with strength development.” Yuri frowned. He knew there was a worse case scenario resting on her tongue. 

“Or?”

“Surgery. Pins to keep the joint in place. That would mean you’d lose most mobility so let’s not get to that point.” Yuri nodded. “No more falling and no more laps without a brace on.” She gathered up his chart and helped him off the examination table and back into the wheelchair. “I’m sorry about your friend,” she said as she wheeled him back into the waiting room. One of the nurses had put his things he had dropped in the chaos in the chair he liked to sit in. His crutches were there and he got up from the  wheelchair and leaned on them instead. “Put your brace on,” Dr. Alcaraz demanded.  “I’ll have a follow up scheduled for a week from now, okay?” Yuri nodded once. She smiled and disappeared down the hall.  

He sat for just long enough to strap his knee in Velcro and zip his phone in his pocket. By this point he could make his way to Olivia’s room without thinking. The door was closed. He thought about knocking but couldn’t bring himself to. 

“Oh-” a voice made him turn. Olivia’s mother was standing there with two disposable coffee cups in hand. “I was on my way to find you. I wanted to apologize for snapping at your earlier.”

“Is she okay?” The woman smiled tiredly.

“She’s sleeping right now but she’s alright.” Yuri felt the strange desire to cry. His leg was tired from holding up all his weight and it trembled beneath him. “Sit down, please,” she said. Yuri collapsed into  one of the chairs that lined the wall. Olivia’s mother sat down next to him and put a cup in his hands. “Hot chocolate. It’s good for the soul.” Yuri held it absently. “Did you get your knee looked at? The two of you came down pretty hard.” Yuri nodded. He could feel her looking at him closely. 

“I shouldn’t have let her talk me into a piggy back ride but she seemed okay and-” 

“Sweetie this isn’t your fault.”

“But-” Yuri faltered. “I felt her heart stop.” His voice broke ever so slightly at the end. Before he could blink the nonexistent tears away he was wrapped in a warm embrace. 

“I’m so sorry you had to be there,” Olivia’s mother said. Yuri could feel her voice vibrate in his torso. “I know how scary it is.” Yuri let himself relax into the hold that was so unfamiliar to him.  As good as it felt he couldn’t help but feel guilty. She shouldn’t be making  _ him  _ feel better after her daughter almost died. “Olivia has always been very sick. She doesn’t show it usually, but then something like this happens and it takes your breath away.” Yuri pulled away and wiped his eyes with one hand. 

“Sorry-” he said embarrassed. 

“You’re alright,” she replied. Yuri’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and chewed on his lower lip. “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah… I’m supposed to work but-”

“You should go.” Yuri looked at her unsure. “Really, go, she’ll be just fine. If you don’t go she’ll be mad and you don’t want to make her mad.” 

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” Yuri said picking himself up and onto his crutches. 

“Tomorrow is Tuesday, do you have an appointment?” She asked with a creased brow.

“No,” Yuri said, “But I’ll be here.” 

///

Yuri got on the bus and made it to the rink. Before he could hesitate the door was thrown open and an overly enthusiastic Victor pulled him inside. 

“Welcome to your first day on the job Yurio!” He patted Yuri roughly on the back. “Are you excited!” Yuri adjusted his hold on his crutches. 

“Don’t you ever go home old man?” 

“I am home,” Victor laughed. Yakov walked out of his office with a file in hand. 

“Oh good you showed up,” he said spotting Yuri. “The level three students are warming up now you can work with them today.”

“Kids? Seriously?”

“Yes. Unless you’d rather tag along with the janitorial staff.” Yuri rolled his eyes. “Alright then, here is the lesson plan,” Yakov handed him the file, “make sure they keep their arms and legs straight.” Yuri flipped through the first few pages of beginner material. 

“This is going to be so boring,” he groaned. Victor smiled at him  and spun off in the direction of the ice with a,

“Have fun!” 

The group of level three students was probably one of the largest at the rink. Yuri hobbled over the the boards and looked at the twelve students he was now incharge of. He leaned his crutches up next to him and stood with his weight balanced on his right leg. When they spotted him they stated over and stood at attention. They all just stared at him. Waiting. 

“Uh- serpentines. Start over there,” Yuri said pointing to the far side of the rink. They nodded and took off chattering. 

“Sloppy. Do it again.” 

“No. Get your ass off the ice and do it again.”

“Wrong. Your skating is garbage.” … “Correction,  _ you _ are garbage.”

“Don’t even bother doing it again.” 

“You make me want to quit this shitty job.”

“That time was fine but you’re face was annoying. Go again but looking the other way.”  

“Hey assholes, shut up for five minutes and do the drill.” 

“Are you even in this class? Go back to level one. You suck.”

“I had my skull sawed open last month and that was physically less painful than watching this.”  

Yuri’s mental energy was completely drained. It had been fifteen minutes. 

After an hour of standing he pulled his crutches back under him. By the second hour he swung up to sit on the boards. Finally, when the last group of level three students had left he collapsed onto the bench. His legs were trembling and his armpits were raw. He was exhausted. His head hung and the buzz of movement around him lulled him to a state of rest. A laugh caused his head to jerk up. 

“Not so easy being a coach huh?” Yuri didn’t have the energy to tell him off. Victor’s hand wrapped around the back of his neck and squeezed. “You did good.” Yuri leaned his head against Victor’s hip. Victor used his thumb to massage the base of his skull.

“I hate kids,” he grumbled. 

“Really? I couldn’t tell,” he said,  his tone was disgustingly sarcastic. Yuuri walked over to them holding a gym bag. 

“Ready to go?” He asked. Victor nodded. His hand left Yuri’s neck and Yuri sat up. Yuuri half smiled at the half asleep teenager in front of him. “Want a ride home Yurio?” Yuri shrugged and Victor took that as an invitation to pick up his bag and toss it to Yuuri. 

“Come on,” Victor coaxed. Yuri sighed and pushed himself off the bench. Victor picked his crutches up and held them out. Yuri took a step to grab them and gasped as his knee gave out. He grabbed onto Victor’s arm to keep himself from falling. Victor in turn dropped the crutches in surprise and grabbed him. The noise caused heads to turn their way and Yuri felt his cheeks grow hot. 

“Are you okay?” Yuuri asked. He stepped closer to them and picked up the crutches. Yuri pushed himself off Victor and took them. 

“Fine. I just- it happens sometimes. I forgot not to put weight on it.” 

“Maybe this is too much,” Victor mused. “Coaching might be too much.” 

“You’re not going to take this away from me,” Yuri all but growled. 

“You should give yourself enough time to heal. There’s no point in rushing into being on your feet all day.” Yuri grit his teeth.

“Don’t you get it? Some things aren’t going to get better. This is better,” Yuri said, his eyes dropped to the floor. The silence between them was uncomfortable. “Let’s just leave. I have to get home.” 

Sitting in the back of Victor’s car Yuri palmed his knee. He dug his fingers into it but he felt nothing. His leg was numb from the knee down. Ice settled in his stomach. The older two were talking staking strategy but they sounded so far away Yuri didn’t bother trying to participate in conversation.  _ It’s fine. I’m tired. I fell today. Nothing is wrong. Something is wrong. _

“Yurio?” Yuri didn’t hear him. 

_ “ _ Yuuuriooo,” Yuuri tried again with a song like quality to his voice. Yuuri frowned. “Hey,” he said poking Yuri’s right leg.” 

“What?” Yuri said absently. 

“Right or left at the light?”

“Left.” Yuuri nodded and Victor got in the turn lane. 

“Is your knee bothering you?” Yuuri asked, eyeing the deathgrip Yuri had on his braced joint. 

“No. It doesn’t hurt,” Yuri replied. It wasn’t a lie, technically. Yuuri sat back and they left him alone for the rest of the ride.   __

When Yuri walked inside he was greeted with the sound of glass breaking. 

“I’m sorry,” he heard his mother say. “What can I do to make it up to you?” Yuri quietly took off his shoes and hovered near the entrance to the living room. 

“You think there’s something you can do?” Ivan shot back. “I never agreed to a kid.” Yuri grit his teeth at the words. 

“You think I wanted this? He’s my son what do you expect me to do?”

“I don’t want to be affiliated with people like him.” 

“People like him? He’s a well known athlete. What’s wrong with that?” 

“You know what I meant.” There was a pause. 

“ _ Oh,” _ Daria said. “You’re pathetic.” 

“Do not speak to me that way.”

“You don’t get to assume things about my child and then blame me for them.” 

“Shut up. I’m done listening to you.”

“No!”

“I said quiet!” Ivan roared. There was another crash and a thud that made the walls shake. Yuri had heard enough. He rounded the corner to find Ivan pinning his mother to the wall. Shards from a broken liquor bottle coated the floor. 

“Get off her!” Yuri yelled. Ivan turned and shoved him roughly. 

“This is my house ass fucker. I’ll do whatever the hell I want.” 

“Touch my mom like that again and I won’t hesitate to relieve you of an eye,” Yuri growled. Ivan laughed and shoved him again, harder, Yuri stumbled back onto his left leg. Unfortunately, at that moment, he didn’t have a left leg. He fell onto his side and was forced to glare up at the man in front of him from the floor. 

“Pathetic. You can’t even defend your own mother.” 

Yuri pushed himself up and bushed the glass from his pants. Ivan had turned back on him.  His body language had shifted dramatically. “Look at what he made me do Dar,” he whined, “I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with him. He’s always disrespecting you and me in my own home!” Yuri’s eyes widened.  _ Is he crying?! _ “I’m so sorry for the mess baby. You know I don’t mean to get rough with you. There is so much going on at work and to come home to this every night I just lost it.” Then Yuri saw his mother do something that he never expected. She wrapped the large excuse for a man in her arms and consoled him. 

“Are you serious?” Yuri demanded. 

“Go to your room, Yuri,” his mother replied. 

“He’s controlling you!”

“Now,” she hissed. Yuri bit his tongue and walked into his room slamming the door behind him. 

“You think you have too much going on,” he said under his breath. “I’d like to see you try one day in my life.” He paced on crutches in front of his door. “I have to deal with dying kids and hospitals and coaching a sport I’ll probably never get to compete in again. I come home to this- and I can’t do anything about it because I can’t feel my fucking leg!” He picked up a box of clothes and threw them against the wall. It exploded and clothes went everywhere. 

He was cornered. He ripped his sweats off and dug his fingernails into his shin. He desperately wanted it to hurt. He didn’t feel it when he broke through skin. He watched blood spot and trickle down his leg. “Dammit!” He growled. He flopped onto his bed and buried his face in his pillow. He listened to the sound of his mother sweeping up glass as he fell asleep.

///

When he woke up it was still dark out. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was very early. Perfect. He sat  up and pulled on a pair of black jeans. The fabric caught on the scabs his nails had made and he froze. It stung. Relief flooded through him. It wasn’t much feeling but it was something. He quickly got ready and fled the apartment before Ivan or Daria woke up. He made it to the bus station and was walking into the hospital’s front doors in less than a half hour. He braced on the front desk.

“Is Dr. Alcaraz here?” He asked. The nurse looked at him strangely, probably wondering why a seventeen year old was bothering her at five in the morning. 

“Do you have an appointment?”

“No, but I really need to see her. She’ll say yes just call her please.” The nurse looked at him skeptically. 

“I’m sorry but without an app-”

“Listen here bit-”

“Yuri?” A voice interrupted.  He turned and saw Dr. Alcaraz walking out of an examination room. “Why are you here?”

“Something's wrong with my leg.” 

The nurse had him change into a gown and questioned him about his symptoms. When Dr. Alcaraz walked in her eyes scanned his chart quickly. She sat down on the stool and rolled up next to his outstretched leg. “You’re here early today,” she said. Her gloved hands poked at his swollen skin. 

“So are you,” Yuri replied. She looked at the crescent shaped scabs that littered the top of his shin. 

“And sensation returned this morning?” Yuri nodded. “Okay, well, this is a symptom of nerve damage. You should be aware of potential numbness, pain, or burning sensations.”

“For how long?”

“It’s hard to say.” She wrote something down in his file. “There’s more swelling than usual. Any reason why?”

“I’m working at the rink now. I was on my feet for a while,” Yuri said quietly. 

“A bad fall followed by a day standing… not exactly what the doctor recommended.” Yuri looked away from her gaze. “Listen Yuri, you have to be more diligent about taking care of your knee. That means less time on your feet, ice, and elevation.” He nodded. Dr. Alcaraz sighed. “I know you’re on your own with this. If you have questions or concerns call me directly,” she handed him a business card, “It will save you the trouble of having to deal with the front desk.” Yuri took it.

“Thanks.” She smiled and changed the subject. 

“How is the bruising under your arms?” she coaxed him to raise his arm and pushed his gown sleeve out of the way. She pursed her lips at the red and purple colored skin. “How about a little break from crutches?” 

Yuri put his black and cheetah print jacket on over the hospital gown and let the nurse strap him into a wheelchair and  an ice pack to his knee. Dr. Alcaraz sent him a smile, “I want to monitor the swelling so stick around for a while alright?” Yuri nodded again but was already rolling towards the pediatric wing. Olivia’s door was cracked and he knocked once before pushing it open. 

“Yuri?” Olivia’s tired voice greeted him. She was watching a cooking show.  

“Like the new wheels?” Yuri returned. He fumbled up next to the bet which made her smirk. 

“How was work?”

“Horrible. I’m stuck working with these kids and they all suck.”

“Well they can skate better than you can currently,” Olivia said with a mischievous grin. Suddenly she was bent over coughing. Yuri’s brow creased but he didn’t say anything. They turned back to the TV and Yuri tried to ignore how her lungs wheeze when she inhaled. His eyes grew heavy and the voices dim and before he knew it he was slipping into a dream. 

Yuri jerked awake when the door closed and the light turned on. The ice pack fell off his leg and he squinted, scanning the room quickly. 

“Sorry,” it was Olivia’s mother, “I didn’t mean to wake you.” Yuri reached down but she scooped up the ice before he had a chance. “You won’t want to put this back on it isn’t cold anymore.” Her eyes locked onto the cuts on his shin. “Are you doing alright?” She asked moving to put the ice pack on the table.

“Yes,” Yuri replied. He looked over and saw Olivia was asleep. “I should go, I didn’t mean to stay long.” 

“You seemed tired.”

“I came in early so…” Yuri trailed off unlocking his wheels. “I should get going.” She nodded and he rolled out of the room in search of his clothes and crutches. Olivia slept through their visits for the next two weeks. Every day, Yuri woke up early, went to PT, and spent the rest of the day giving lessons at the rink. He rarely went home in between until the one day, he forgot his bag. By the time he’d realized, it was too late.

Daria was walking into the kitchen when something caught her eye. She set down her coffee cup and lifted the duffle bag from under Yuri’s chair. She unzipped it slowly and pulled out an athletic long sleeve shirt. She held the shirt under her nose. She recognized the smell of a sweaty teenager but there was something else, something familiar. Ice. Daria turned the bag over and emptied it onto the table. Her hand closed around the soft black leather of a skate. Her hands shook as she removed the guard and ran her finger over the blade the same blade through which Yuri’s shocked expression was reflected back at him. 

“Mama…” 

“What are.. Why would you…” Daria’s voice broke from pure rage. “Why do you have this?” 

“I-” 

“Answer me!” She screamed. Yuri’s jaw remained closed. She raised her arm which was holding the skate. “Answer me!”

“Yakov made me a deal,” Yuri whispered. “I work for him while recovering and his coaching fees for next season are covered.” 

“How long?” Daria demanded. Yuri bit his tongue. 

“Just over two weeks.” Daria shrieked and threw the skate at him. It hit Yuri in the chest and fell to the floor.  

“How dare you!”

“Mama please,” Yuri begged. She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close. 

“After everything I’ve done for you!” Her hand wove into his hair and pulled. “No more skating Yuri! Not now, not ever!” Yuri shook his head free and attempted to release her grasp on his shirt. 

“You don’t get to decide that! I never asked for your help! This is my life!”

“You’ll never step foot on the ice again.”

“Watch me.” Yuri pushed away as hard as he could. Daria grip caused his shirt seems to split open. Her nails fought for a hold on his flesh-tearing that too. She gasped and looked at the blood that splattered onto the floor. Yuri took off. 

“Yuri!” Daria called after him. “Yuri!” But he just kept walking. With nothing in his pockets and without his crutches for support he wandered to the rink on pure muscle memory.

He walked up to his coach who was standing by the gate watching Victor on the ice. 

“Yakov,” he said in greeting, his voice foreign sounding even to his own ears. 

“You’re late. You do realize that you’re paying for ice time with this job don’t you.” Yakov didn’t look at him. 

“Sorry,” Yuri said quietly. Victor finished the routine and skated over for water. 

“What happened to your shirt?” He asked. Yuri looked down to see the collar of his t-shirt ripped wide open. “What were you mugged on the way here?” Victor asked taking a sip of water. 

“No,” Yuri mumbled. He reached a hand up to the tear. A larger hand caught his wrist. Yakov was examining the welted scratches that extended the length of his arm. Blood still spotted the deepest points. 

“Who did this?” Yakov demanded. Yuri  tried to pull away but his wrist was trapped. 

“My cat.”

“Those aren’t cat scratches,” Victor said, eyes locked on the teenagers thin arm. Yakov probed the scratches and Yuri flinched. 

“What happened?” Yakov demanded. 

“I got in a fight with my mom. It’s no big deal,” Yuri said, ripping his arm away. 

“You’re mother grabbed you?” Victor asked horrified. 

“It’s none of your business,” Yuri snarled. 

“None of my-,” Victor exhaled with a bitter scoff. “You’re being serious?” 

“It was my fault alright. Just leave it alone.” 

“Ah really? And how is that?” Victor’s temper was showing. 

“I said drop it,” Yuri snarled. 

“No please, enlighten us all to how your mother hurting you is your fault.” Yuri lunged. His one fist closed around the fabric of Victor’s shirt and the other collided with his mouth. Victor’s head snapped back and he fell onto the ice. 

“I said to leave it alone! Why are you so interested!” Yuri screamed. “I told you this job was a bad idea! I fucking told you!” Yuri made a move to hit him again but Yakov pulled him off. 

“Yuri stop!” 

“Get off me. Get off.” Yuri struggled against his arms. 

“Calm down now or I’ll have you escorted out,” Yakov hissed. Yuri went still in his arms. 

“Don’t bother. I’m leaving.” Yuri shook free of Yakov’s hold. Victor stood and used his tongue probe the bloodied corner of his mouth. “I quit,” Yuri spat. He limped towards the door before either of them had a chance to stop him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad people are intrigued by this story! I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	3. Chapter III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "'You don’t have to do this,' Victor kept saying.  
> 'Yes, I do.' He left his crutches in the car and walked up the steps to the third floor alone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo- It's gonna get a bit violent. Heads up.

It was raining and cold and Yuri went to the only place he could.

Olivia brightened when she saw him but only slightly. It was as if her spirit was dimmer than it was before. He staggered into her room, bracing on the walls to keep himself up.

“What the hell happened to you?” She asked sitting up in bed.

“Nothing I-” Yuri’s knee gave a pang and he dropped to the floor with his forearms resting on the foot of her bed.

“Yuri!” Olivia exclaimed. She pulled weakly on his arms but was unable to pull him up onto the bed. Instead, she slid down next to him. He was sweating and his head throbbed along the line of his scar. “Shit,” she said through her teeth.

“Don’t let your mom hear you say that. She won’t let me hang out here anymore,” Yuri said quietly.

“Do you need a doctor?”

“No, I’ll be okay,” his face was tense with pain, “it’ll stop in a minute.” Her hands traveled to his arm, examining the scratches. She reached over to the bedside table and pulled something out of the drawer. When Yuri looked down his arm was covered in purple Band-Aids. He almost laughed.

“There. That’s better,” she said. Yuri nodded and adjusted his position on the floor. After a minute she added, “do you want to get up?” Yuri just shook his head. She looked at his damp clothing. “Did you walk here on your busted leg? Where are your crutches? And what about your jacket? It’s freezing-”

“Olive please,” Yuri said. “No interrogation tonight.”

“Fine.” To her credit she let a solid ten minutes pass before getting up to grab her iPod. “I want you to listen to something.” Yuri looked over at her with a pinched brow. She handed him an earbud and he stuck it in his ear. The music that started playing was smooth, classy, and moving.

“It’s awful,” Yuri said. Olivia elbowed him.

“This is going to be my debut song! I’m working on the choreography now. I’m thinking a step sequence in the beginning and lots of spins.”

“It’s boring.” Yuri rubbed his temples.

“It’s perfect,” she countered.  Yuri exhaled and handed her the earbud.

“Well, if you’re dead set on it you should probably build up with the crescendo and use the spins on the transitions.” She smiled at his words. Yuri took a deep breath. “Alright.” He braced on the bed with his arms and pulled himself to his feet. He grimaced at the size of his knee and the way it throbbed.

“You should get some ice or something,” Olivia said, side-eyeing his pant leg. He hummed in agreement but before he could go and get some his bone caught on fire. _“You may experience a burning sensation,”_ Dr. Alcaraz’s words floated in his mind. He couldn’t stand it. He cried out and pushed all of his weight into the wall. His head spun and suddenly he was on his side. The fire was licking up his thigh and burning his flesh away.

“Mom! Mom!” Olivia was screaming. Yuri wanted to tell her it was okay but he didn’t have the chance before his eyes rolled back into his head.  

Yuri opened his eyes slowly an hour later. He was laying in a hospital bed that much he knew.  

“I thought we talked about this Yuri.” He turned his head and saw a very agitated Dr. Alcaraz bent over his mangled knee. “You’ve managed to set your physical therapy back two weeks with the stunt you just pulled.” She snapped her gloves off and stood back her hands on her hips. “Walking, Yuri? Really?” He turned his head away from you. “If you don’t slow down your nerve damage will just get worse. Is that what you want? Do you like passing out?”

“No,” Yuri grumbled.

“What was that?” Dr. Alcaraz said sarcastically.

“No!”  She pursed her lips and flipped open his chart.

“Your behavior says otherwise. Your blood sugar is low which tells me you’re not eating enough, you’re not resting enough that’s evident from the swelling and the state of your nerves.” She slammed the file shut. “Every time you come see me it seems you’re sporting a new set of flesh wounds.” She sat down on the stool near him. “Are you hurting yourself?”

“No!” Yuri objected. Dr. Alcaraz sat back at a loss.

“I’m going to have to call your mother to come take you home.” At her words, Yuri’s eyes widened in fear.

“Don’t,” Yuri pleaded. “Can’t I stay here. For observations or whatever.” Concern and confusion flooded her features. She softened her voice and asked,

“Is something going on at home.”

“No,” Yuri answered a little bit too quickly. “It’s not that. It’s not what you think.”

“Yuri?”

“You’ll just make it worse.” She tipped her head back and itched under her eyebrow.

“I have to report any kind of-”

“One night,” Yuri interrupted. “Just one. I’ll go back to my mother tomorrow I just… I just need one night. She won’t even notice I’m gone.” Dr. Alcaraz thought for a moment before crossing her arms over her chest.

“Fine, one night.” Yuri exhaled in relief. He made a move to get off  the bed but was roughly pushed back. “If you take so much as one step on my knee,” she said, pointing to Yuri’s leg, “I will not only call your mother but strap you down and keep you immobile for a month.”

“Alright,” Yuri said raising his arms in surrender.

“Good,” Dr. Alcaraz said. “I’ll be back later to check on you.” Over her shoulder, she added, “try to get some sleep, you look exhausted.”  Yuri stared at the ceiling after she left until a knock caused his head to turn towards the door. Olivia’s mother walked in. She wordlessly took a seat at his bedside and smoothed the blanket that was over him.

“Are you feeling better?” She asked. Yuri nodded. “I’m glad.” She crossed her legs and sat back in her seat. “Listen, Yuri… I think it’s wonderful that you and Olive have become so close but, I need you to understand something.” She paused to make sure he was paying attention. “Olivia is very sick. I’ve spent the last eleven years keeping her alive and I won’t let anything jeopardize that.” She leaned forward. “I care about you Yuri, but please, please be careful with what you bring into her life. She looks strong but she can’t handle everything.” Yuri swallowed, his throat was suddenly very dry.

“I understand. I’m sorry about earlier… It won’t happen again,” he said. She pat his shoulder gently.

“I know, well, get some rest, honey.” She got up and walked out of the room. Yuri chewed on his lip. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for dragging a sick kid into his messed up life.  He instinctively reached for his phone only to find his pocket was empty. _They must have taken it when I passed out,_ he thought.

Yuri pulled his sneakers on and snuck out of the room. To his credit, he did put the majority of his weight on his right leg. Hugging the wall, Yuri made his way towards the nurse’s station. He spotted his phone sitting on the counter next to the computer. _Perfect._ Yuri looked down the hall before slipping behind the counter and grabbing his phone. He glanced at the home screen and saw a ton of missed notifications that he didn’t have time to deal with at the moment. He was sneaking back to his room when something made him freeze. In the office to his left was Dr. Alcaraz, speaking to his mother. She glanced over Daria’s shoulder and spotted him through the window. Dr. Alcaraz’s  eyes widened in surprise and she started towards him. Yuri took off in the other direction.

“Yuri!” She called. “If you run now you’ll only be hurting yourself.”

Yuri’s hands closed in fists by his side. His chest was frozen over with fear.

“I trusted you!” He snarled. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” She looked back at him with wide eyes.

“Yuri! Oh, baby, I was so worried!” Daria wrapped her thin arms around her son. Yuri pulled away instinctively, hearing the words spoken from _her_ mouth made him feel sick. “Ohhh,” she moaned looking at the scabs that peaked out of the bandages on his arm. “You should be more careful.”

“What?” Yuri snapped.

“Honey, I know you’re upset about the job at the rink but I just want what’s best for you. Dr. Alcaraz and I agree that that long on your feet is bad for your recovery.” Yuri grimaced. She seemed to be waiting for a reply but he didn’t give one. She tried harder, brushing the hair away from his face and rubbing her cold hands down his arms. “I love you, Yuratchka.” Every cell in Yuri’s body revolted at the sound of his nickname on her tongue.  

“Don’t call me that. Don’t you ever call me that again,” he said. He pulled away completely.

“Let’s go home,” Daria said, she took his hand firmly. She began pulling him towards the elevator.

“He really shouldn’t be walking at all,”   Dr. Alcaraz chimed in.

“Yes I know, thank you,” Daria said, pulling Yuri along faster. When the elevator doors closed she dropped the façade. Yuri winced as she slapped him upside the head.

“I told her not to call you,” he said.

“I don’t want to hear it,” she snapped.

The ride home was brutal. Daria didn’t say a single thing but Yuri knew something was coming, he could feel it. When her car stopped outside their building he couldn’t stand to get out of the car.

“Unbelievable,”  Daria said under her breath. She pulled Yuri up and hooked his arm over her shoulders. When they were inside she threw him down on the couch “Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was?” She said, her voice was almost inaudible.  She picked up his crutches from where he’d left them that morning and chucked them at him. They clattered to the floor noisily and Ivan stepped in from the bedroom.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

“Yuri told his doctor that I’m a bad mother.”

“What?” Ivan roared.

“I did not,” Yuri said back.

“She called me into the office in front of everyone and went on and on about how I need to be better support in his recovery process,” she stifled a tear, “all I’ve done is to ensure you get better and to know that you despise all of it…” She covered her mouth with a hand. Ivan puffed at the sight of her tears and turned to tower over where Yuri sat.

“Is that true?” He spat. Something inside Yuri fractured. A fire ignited in his stomach and rage twisted in his chest. “Apologize.” Yuri remained silent and  his hands closed into fists.

A sharp slap burned his cheek. “I know you fucking heard me.” Yuri put a hand to his cheek which was still stinging.

“Don’t you fucking touch me,” He sneered. Ivan jerked him by his collar.

“What are you going to do about it you dick sucking cripple?”

Yuri swung his fist up and hit Ivan square in the nose. The older man stumbled back in surprise. Blood dripped out of his nostrils and into his mouth. He bore his teeth and lunged. Yuri felt impact on his face and rib cage but the pain was blocked by adrenaline. He held his own, throwing elbows into the soft part of Ivan’s stomach. Daria was screaming at them but Yuri couldn’t make out what she was saying. “You’re dead,” Ivan roared with blood stained teeth. His calloused hands ripped out chunks off Yuri’s hair and wove tightly around his neck. Yuri clawed at the hands wrapped around his throat. He gasped for air but couldn’t get any. His eyes were watering. His vision was growing dim around the edges and his arms fell slack. Still, Ivan didn’t let up. _This motherfucker’s actually going to kill me._

“Get off of him!” Daria screamed. She wrapped both arms around Ivan’s throat and threw her body weight back. It was enough to release his hold and Yuri slid to the floor coughing. He looked up and could make out the blurry silhouette of his mother standing over him. “That’s enough. You will _not_ lay another hand on him,” she snarled. Ivan swung his elbow and knocked her to the ground. Yuri braced himself but no impact came. Instead, Ivan had turned his focus on Daria. He was walking towards her slowly. Yuri pushed himself to his feet and wrapped his hand around one of his crutches. He raised his arm at the same time Ivan did and brought the end of the crutch down on his head with all his might. Ivan dropped to the ground. Yuri  stood panting looking down at the large man on the floor. His mother’s eyes flashed between the two of them.

“Mama-” Yuri started.

“What did you do?” Daria said horrified. She scooted over and pulled Ivan’s head into her lap. “Ivan? Ivan wake up!” She demanded. Her eyes filled with tears and her voice shook as she pleaded her lover. “Come on, please, open your eyes!” She started rocking, cradling his large face in her hands. Yuri’s mind spun, wondering if he had just murdered the body lying in his mother’s arms. Slowly, Ivan’s eyelids fluttered and he took a long breath.

“Dar…” he slurred.

“Mama leave him,” Yuri said quickly. “We can’t stay here.” She turned his eyes to him and Yuri flinched.

“What have you done!” She screamed. “Get out! Get out!” Yuri almost fell back at the volume of her voice.

“I had to.”

“Come any closer and I’ll call the police!”

“Don’t do this…” Yuri trailed off. He felt his eyes become misty.

“I said leave!” Daria picked up the other crutch and threw it at him. Yuri shielded his head with his forearms.  “Get out!” She screamed and screamed and wouldn’t stop until Yuri pulled his crutches under his arms and stumbled out the door.  

He collapsed onto the steps outside their building and tried to catch his breath. It was late, too late to catch the bus. His hands were shaking and he looked down at the bloody knuckles, _how much of this is my blood?_ He bit his lip and tasted metal. His nose was still bleeding and drops of crimson stained the concrete step below him.

“What did I do?” He muttered out loud. His fingers snaked into his hair and he tugged in an attempt to focus his thoughts. He waited for police sirens and handcuffs but they never came. His last fragment of hope rested on his mother coming out with packed bags and taking him away. He sat there for an hour but she wasn’t coming. Yuri spits the blood from his mouth and picked himself up. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and glanced at the notifications. Many of them were from Yakov demanding he call. He thought about it but couldn’t bring himself to hit the call button. He started down the sidewalk, he couldn’t go to the hospital or back inside so he followed his shadow to the building he once called home.

The rink was empty and the front doors were locked but there was a hole in the back fence and he knew where Yakov hid the spare key. His armpits were aching and his right leg shook with the effort it took to support him but he just kept going. One step after the other, again, again, again, until he made it to the locker room. The lights turned on automatically and his reflection in the mirror above the sinks made him jump. He looked like he’d just stepped out of a horror film. Dried blood from his nose was cracked down his chin and neck. His eye was already swelling and his cheekbone had turned a deep purple. He turned the water on and ran his hands under it. It turned a dark wine color and swirled down the drain.  He stood, mind blank, watching it until the water was too hot to bare. He ran a paper towel across his face but his energy was flat lining. Now that the adrenaline had worn off everything hurt. He moved over to the corner and tucked himself in next to the lockers. He stretched his left leg out and noticed a prickly feeling traveling up and down his shin. The automatic lights turned off and left him sitting in the dark. He checked his phone but there were no new messages. His eyes were aching and his limbs were heavy. _Yakov will open up at five, I’ll be gone before then._ Yuri closed his eyes and let the hum of the air  conditioners lull him to sleep.

The next morning, Yakov was standing at the boards watching Victor skate when his phone rang.  

“What,” he demanded.

“Mr. Feltsmen?” A female voice asked.

“Speaking,” Yakov said fairly annoyed at the interruption.

“This is Bokvar Hospital, we are calling about Yuri Plisetsky, he had an appointment with physical therapy this morning but he didn’t show up.”

“He doesn’t live with me anymore. Call his mother.”

“We did sir but no one answered. You are listed as his emergency medical contact. Have you spoken to him at all in the past twelve hours? It’s not like him to miss an appointment.” Yakov sighed.

“I don’t know where he is but I can make some calls. Sorry if he inconvenienced you,” Yakov said. He hung up and Victor skated over having finished his step sequence.

“What was that about?” He asked.

“Have you heard from Yuri? He skipped treatment and his doctors can’t get ahold of him.”

Victor shook his head. Yuuri got up from the bench and walked over to them.

“Yurio’s missing?”

“It’s probably nothing,” Yakov said.

“But he was acting strange yesterday,” Victor mused, touching the scab on the corner of his mouth. “Do you want me to try calling?”

“No, keep working on your routine, I’ll see if I can get ahold of him,” Yuuri said. Victor nodded.

“Katsuki, if you get ahold of him tell him I need to speak with him,” Yakov added. Yuuri nodded and went to get his phone from his locker. He picked at his zipper while he waited for the call to go through. A ringing sound caught his attention. He walked around the bank of lockers and immediately the wind was knocked out of him. His phone clattered to the floor and he dove next to Yuri’s unconscious form. It was the blood that scared him the most.

“Yurio!” He called, shaking the blond teenager’s shoulder. Yuuri opened his mouth to call for help when Yuri's hand caught his wrist. His steel blue eyes opened in slits and shook his head once. Yuuri pulled away wide eye and started for the door.

“Katsudon…”  Yuri called out with a voice like gravel. “Don’t.” Yuuri froze with his back turned.

“How did you get like that?” He asked quietly. Yuri sighed and turned his head away. “Why are you hiding? Are you in trouble?” He shook out his hands and turned to face Yuri’s slumped form.

“I’m not hiding. I was sleeping,” Yuri replied.

“Here?” Yuri raised his head and the light caught on the dried blood and bruising that littered his skin. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to. Yuuri took a shaky breath, went over to his bag, and pulled out a washcloth. He ran it under warm water, kneeled next to Yuri, and began to clean him up. Yuri’s eyes followed him as he worked to get the red off his skin. Yuuri’s eyes were focused and full of concern but he didn’t push questions. When Yuri’s skin was exposed so were the dark bruises that wrapped around his neck. Yuuri stopped and pulled the washcloth away. “Who…”  

“Yuuri? Are you still in here?”  Victor’s voice interrupted. When he spotted them his face showed an arrange of emotion all at once.

“People are looking for you,” he said while his eyes scanned every inch of Yuri’s exposed skin. Yuri wouldn't meet his eyes. “Who did you pick a fight with this time?” Victor asked. His tone was joking but it was laced with worry. Yuri didn't respond. Victor signed and pulled him up by his arm. He held him still for a minute to examine the damage. “Was it your mother?” Victor asked as he ran his thumb over Yuri’s split lip. Yuri slapped his hand away and at the same moment Victor closed his hand around Yuri’s fist and brought it up to eye level. He prodded the bruised and cracked knuckles. “Who did you hit?”

“No one,” Yuri spat. “I’m not talking to you about this.”

“You’re not… That's it,” Victor said. He grabbed Yuri's arm and started dragging him towards the door. Yuri fought him with every step.

“I'm not going with you,”  he gasped. Victor ignored his protest and wrapped an arm around Yuri’s waist. Yuri visibly paled. “Ow. Ow!” He thrust his palms against Victor’s stomach- pushing him away. Victor stepped back with his hands raised. Yuri stumbled onto the bench behind them with an arm across his middle. Yuuri crouched next to him and lifted up Yuri’s shirt. His abdomen was just as bruised as the rest of him.

“Oh my God” Yuuri said. Yuri pushed his hands away and pulled his shirt back down.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine,” Yuri said.

“No…. You’re really not,” Yuuri countered.

“You should have called me! Called anyone!” Victor said, his hands closed into fists at his side.Yuuri stood and touched his arm, calming Victor instantly. They held eye contact for a minute. “Okay… Yurio, I’m sorry about this.”

“What-” Yuri grunted as Victor picked him up and swung him over his shoulder.

“What are you doing! Put me down!” Yuri pounded his fists against Victors back but Victor just took it.

Yuri was deposited into a chair in Yakov’s office. Yuuri returned a minute later with the man himself. When Yakov entered Yuri pulled his knees up and hid his face in his arms.

“What’s going on?” Yakov asked. Yuri curled up on himself tighter. “Yuri?” Yakov prompted.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Yuri mumbled into his lap.

“Oh,  you’re not getting away with that,” Victor said under his breath. He stepped forward to force Yuri’s head back but Yakov held out his arm to stop him.

“Look at me Yuratchka,” Yakov said softly. Yuri raised his head and Yakov recoiled when he saw what state he was in. He closed the distance between them quickly and cupped Yuri’s jaw in his hand. He maneuvered Yuri’s head to get a better look at the handprint painted in shades of violet across his windpipe. “Who hurt you?” Yuri tucked his chin and locked his eyes on the floor.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. His voice and expression were hollow.

“Yura-” Yuri’s heart was pounding painfully.

“Please,” he interrupted, “don’t make me tell you.” Yuri shifted his weight and wrung his hands. _I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. I have to get away._  

“I don’t understand,” Yuuri cut in. “Whoever did this should pay for it.” Yuri shook his head.

“It won’t help. Leave it alone,” he pleaded. It was getting hard to swallow.

“Who are you protecting!” Victor demanded. Yuri dropped both feet to the ground and dug his fingernails into his chair leather armrests.

“Myself!” He shot back. His breath hitched and almost inaudibly he added, “because no one else is.” The others in the room looked between themselves.

“Why didn’t you go home last night?”Yuuri asked. Yuri chewed on his thumbnail, his hands were visibly shaking.

“She kicked me out.”

“Why?” Yuri shifted again and tugged on his collar. He refused to speak.

“Why, Yuri?” Victor prompted. Yuri’s fingers dug into his knee.  

“Because I almost killed her boyfriend.” The room seemed to drop ten degrees. “I h-had to. I had to. He was going  to hit her,” Yuri was gasping shallowly for air, “ he was going to kill me.” Yuri’s body was trembling and his eyes were staring straight forward. Yakov placed a hand on his shoulder and he flinched. Yakov withdrew his hand.   

“It was self-defense, Yura. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Yuri was still, there was no indication he had  even heard him. “We have to notify the police.”

“What?” Yuri’s eyes snapped open. “No!”

“I have to. Look at what he did to you!” Yuri’s lungs wouldn’t function. His ears began to ring. Yakov stood and took a step towards the office landline.

“Stop! Please!” Yuri jumped at him and began pulling on his coat. “You can’t do this!”

“Yuri!” Yakov tried to pry him off. “What’s wrong with you?” Victor and Yuuri stepped in and pulled him off.

“Let go! Let go!” Yuri screamed. He fought at their arms, tugging and throwing his body weight from side to side.

“Calm down!” Yakov demanded. “It’s going to be okay.” He picked up the phone.

“No, you don’t get it! She’ll side with him! She’ll side with him like she did last night," Yuri wailed. He blinked and Ivan’s face invaded his vision. The face he saw while being choked, the face with bloody teeth and sweat that dripped down greasy skin. He pulled away from Victor and Yuri and brought his arms to his chest. “They won’t believe me. They’ll let him go.” He couldn’t breathe. “You… Can’t… Call... Them.” They stared at him in complete disbelief.

“You need to breathe,” Victor coaxed quietly, but Yuri’s panic had already set in.

“He’ll kill me. He’s going to kill me. She’ll let him kill me!” Yuri moaned. He pulled his collar away from his neck. He could feel Ivan’s hands on him. “Ah-”

“Put the phone down,” Yuuri demanded. “He’s having a panic attack.” Yakov let the receiver clatter back onto the desk.  

“It’s over Yuri, it’s okay,” Yuuri said. He took a step closer to the gasping teenager but Yuri shrank against the wall. “He’s going to make himself pass out,” Yuuri whispered urgently to Victor. Victor nodded and in one step he wrapped Yuri up in his arms before he had a chance to protest. Yuri struggled against him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Victor said, holding tight. “Shhhhhh,” he soothed. Yuuri stepped over to them.

“Breath in, one… two… three… four. Again, one… two… three… four.” Soon enough, Yuri came back to them. He supported his own weight and used his hands to wipe the wetness from his eyes.  

“Yakov,” he ground out, “If you call the police I swear to God I’ll run.” There was no doubt the sincerity of his words. Yakov picked up the chair Yuri had been sitting in and moved it a step closer to them.

“Than sit down because we have to figure out an alternative.”

“He’s moving in with us,” Victor said almost immediately. “I’m not letting you anywhere near that man again.” Yuri slid down in the chair so his head could rest on the back of it.

“I want you working again,” Yakov added. Yuri nodded because he was too tired to argue and out of options.

Yuuri and Victor took him back to their home immediately after. That’s how Yuri found himself sitting numbly on their couch. Yuuri appeared next to him and pressed an ice pack to his black eye. Yuri closed the other one and leaned into the cold.

“Victor said he would go get your stuff,” Yuuri said softly.

“I want to go with him.” Yuuri pulled the ice away and looked at him with a pinched brow. “Relax Piggy, Ivan will be at work and I have a key. What’s Victor planning on doing? Breaking the door down?” He took a deep breath. “Plus I need to make sure my mom’s okay. She might be scum but I don’t want him to hurt her.” Yuuri nodded.

“Okay. If you’re sure.” He placed the ice pack in Yuri’s hand and walked out of the room.

“If I’m sure?” Yuri said to himself, “I’m not sure of anything anymore.”

///

He felt sick the entire ride to the apartment.

“You don’t have to do this,” Victor kept saying.

“Yes, I do.” He left his crutches in the car and walked up the steps to the third floor alone. He hesitated only a minute before pushing the door open. The apartment was quiet. There was nothing that showed what had happened the night before. He walked quickly to his room and began throwing clothes in a large duffle bag. The last thing he did was pack his skating bag. Taking a look around the bare room he was prepared to leave almost everything he owned behind except for something shiny that caught his eye. He pulled his gold medal out of one of the cardboard boxed and tucked it neatly into his skating bag. He grabbed his wallet from the nightstand and headed quickly for the door.

“Where are you going?” The voice from behind him made him jump. He turned and was face to face with his mother. Daria had dark circles under her eyes and she was still wearing a robe despite it being nearly four pm.

“I’m just getting my stuff,” Yuri replied with a dry mouth.

“You’re leaving me?”

“I can’t stay here. Weren't you the one who told me to go in the first place?” Daria crossed her arms over her chest.

“I didn’t mean it,” she cooed. "Ivan will get over it. We can  live like we did before.” She touched his hand, “ I Love you.” Yuri tightened his hold on the strap for his bag.

“Goodbye, Mama.” He stepped past her and towards the door.

“You can’t go!” He didn’t look back.  “Stop!” She hurried after him and grabbed the back of his shirt. “You’re my baby,” she cried. “You don’t get to abandon me.”

“I have to go now,” Yuri said, not trusting himself to say anything else. He started walking forward and she clung to his shoulders in vain. “I have to go now,” he repeated. The lump in Yuri’s throat was growing faster by the second.

“You are my son, Yuri Plisetsky! How can you turn your back on your own mother!” He turned slowly to face her and the genuine tears on her cheeks made his chest ache.

“I’m sorry,” he said, too choked up for any sound to come out. Anger flashed over her features.

“No.” She pushed him against the wall. “No! I can’t lose you!” She pounded her fists against his chest. He stopped her hands with his own and yelled,

“You never wanted this!” He took a shaky breath. “You never wanted _me!_ ” He felt a single tear roll down his face. Daria looked up at him in dismay. Her forehead fell onto his chest and she cried. Heavy, rolling sobs that racked through the both of them. It wasn’t because his words had hurt her, it was because they were true. Yuri took long breaths to hold himself together.

“I have to go,” he said faintly. He took her by the shoulders and lightly pushed her away. He stepped toward the door and paused. Turning on his heels he wrapped his arms around her. “Run, Mama,” he said. “Pack a bag,  get as far away from here as you can, and never look back.” Just as quickly as it had started the hug ended; Yuri walked the steps from their apartment for the last time. When he reached sunlight the aching in his chest amplified. He limped toward the sidewalk and Victor and Yuuri ran up to meet him halfway. Victor took his  bags and Yuuri took his arm. They were already in the car by the time she ran out after him.

“Yuri!” She screamed.

“Go,” Yuri said. Victor pulled away from the curb.

“Yuri!” Her voice reached him through the glass of the window. He squeezed his eyes shut and thick, hot tears rolled down his face. He couldn’t open his eyes and watch her collapse onto the grass calling his name. He couldn’t watch his actions break her. In his heart, he knew she wouldn’t come after him. She’d be gone by tomorrow and be safe somewhere far away. That didn’t make it hurt any less.  A sound of pain escaped his teeth. He leaned forward and braced on the headrest in front of him. Yuuri’s hand began rubbing circles in between his shoulder blades. Victor’s eyes kept flashing to him in the rearview mirror.

“I’m never going to see her again,” he sobbed. He let himself cry like he had when he was little and his only memory of her face was from the photograph hanging on his grandfather’s wall. He cried for the hugs absent and the smiles never seen. His heart was breaking, not just for the mother he had lost, but for the mother he never had. He could choose to leave her but he could never choose to not love her. Through the haze, he wondered if it had been the same for her all those years before. Maybe her heart _had_ broken when she left him and she chose to keep walking anyway. As the distance between them grew and the opportunities to turn back lessened,  Yuri followed in the only example she had ever left for him and kept going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter was shorter than the other two... maybe not. I needed it to end here because the mood doesn't really carry on into the next scene. I know some parts seem rushed... I don't have an explanation. 
> 
> I loved reading your comments on the last chapter!! And as always, I'd love to hear from you! 
> 
> Oh and Merry (40 minutes late) Christmas!

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always appreciated.


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